Jesus, what kind of guys was he dating before?I wasn’t especially kind, not by any stretch of imagination.I was just a dude who didn’t completely suck.“You know I want you, right?I mean, you look at me and I get hard.”
He smiled slowly, smugly.“Yeah.”
I relaxed a little.“So obviously I’m not mad about it.I just don’t—I don’t want you to actually think you have to always be… available like that.And if I’m doing something that makes you feel like I expect it, I wanna know.”
He shook his head, still smiling.“You’re not.You’re a perfect gentleman.”
I snorted.“For certain values ofgentleman, I guess.Do I make you nervous, somehow?Or uneasy?”
“No,” he said immediately.“I make myself nervous and uneasy.Always fucking have.”
That sounded miserable.All I could do was ask, “Can I help somehow?”
He slid his gaze up and down me again, this time even hotter.“You can certainly take my mind off it.”
We spent the afternoon taking each other’s minds off just about everything.For once, my brain didn’t keep heading to the past when he triggered a memory; I felt completely in the moment.And I wanted more.
I didn’t want to push him to talk to me.But it was obvious we needed to do a lot more of that, or we were never going to move forward.I wanted so, so badly to be his boyfriend.
And maybe that was fair, seeing as he’d wanted to be mine all those years ago.
As he was getting ready for work that evening, I pulled on my clothes and then picked up my phone for the first time all day.The messages app had a few pings, so I opened it—and then frowned.
He glanced over from the mirror, where he was fixing his hair.“Bad news?”
I shook my head.“Jennie.Again.”
She’d texted:
Jennie
I know you’re conflict-averse, but I deserve a reply from you.
I mean,did she, though?I could see how she’d be annoyed, after asking me a direct question three weeks ago.Butdeservefelt like a strong word from someone who cheated a week after accepting the Tiffany ring of her choice from me.
Diego frowned.“Wow, have you even heard from her since we saw her at the Benedum?”
“She texted the next morning.”I held out the phone.
He took it, then read silently.“Yikes.And you left her on read?”He handed it back.
“I was going to text back, but I couldn’t think of anything to say.And then you came over the next night and fucked my brains out.So…”
“Pretty cold not to even reply,” he said, voice gone tight of a sudden.He glanced away, back to the mirror.
“I’m not obligated to give her any…” But I trailed off as I realized why he was uncomfortable suddenly.Not because it was about Jennie—he didn’t give a fuck about Jennie.
But because I’d ghosted him.That was how it’d ended, in fact, with me simplynotreplying to his text.I closed my eyes and sighed.“Shit.”
He turned away and went back to his hair.
I followed, coming up behind him.“I’m sorry,” I said.
“No.”He squeezed his eyes shut and shook his head hard.“Forget it.I’m sorry.That was—stupid.”
“It wasn’t.”I slipped an arm around his waist, relieved when he allowed it.“We’ve still got a lot of stuff to talk about, is all.”
“After I finally convinced you that you don’t need to jump through fuckin’ hoops…” He rolled his eyes, then looked at his watch.“Ah, fuck.I’m running late.”
