I sat up and held out a hand to Shortcake, who sniffed it delicately.Just when I thought she was going to rub her adorable pink-and-black nose against it, she stood and hopped off the bed, following Diego.
Like father, like cat-daughter, huh?
After we both brushed our teeth and washed our faces, I went straight to the fridge and started scraping breakfast together.He obviously didn’t eat at home much, seeing as it was mostly condiments in there, but he had enough to work with.No sour cream, so the eggs would be a little flat, but hey.I could impress him some other time.
Once he found a t-shirt to pull on, Diego came to the kitchen island-slash-dining-table and settled, watching me.
I decided it’d be best to open with a joke.“Well, you let me use your bathroom, so this must be serious.”
It worked; he grinned, showing off the adorable gap in his front teeth.“You laugh, but yeah, pretty much.I even found you a spare toothbrush.”
I held up some high-fiber whole-grain keto thing.“I found this weird bread.Breakfast sandwiches?”
“Totally.”He propped his chin up on one hand, elbow on the counter.“You were really sweet last night.Sorry I was such a bummer.”
“You’re allowed to be tired.You deserve rest.”
“You sound like a self-help book.”
“A very accurate one.”
Diego gave a little shrug and licked his lips.
I moved to the other counter, facing him, then cracked the eggs and started whisking.
He watched my hands.Then my face.His brow furrowed.
I cleared my throat.“You want me to start?”
He slumped.“Yeah.Would you?Sorry, I’m bad at… this.”His smile went crooked.
I set the eggs aside, trying to fight off the heavy, heady sensation of fear and excitement that came with saying, “I want to be your boyfriend.”
His eyebrows went up and he gave a little laugh.“Wow, okay.”
Was it too fast?I honestly didn’t know; serial monogamy had warped my concept of how relationships were supposed to start, unfold, even end.But it was the truth, and I’d never felt it more strongly than this morning.
Well, I probably had at some point back in school too.But I was too fucking dumb back then to know what it meant.
“You wanted me to start.”I leaned forward on the counter.“So, you want to explain what I need to do to make that happen someday?”
Diego slumped.“You don’t…” Then he frowned and sat a little straighter.“Okay, no, actually, perfect segue.Sometimes it feels like you’re trying really hard to prove something.To jump through hoops.”
I bit my bottom lip to keep from blurting:No shit.I took a beat, then admitted with slightly less enthusiasm than I felt, “If you want, I will.”
He shook his head.“You are already.And that’s bullshit.”
In the last three weeks of hanging out with Diego, in all the nights we’d spent going out or having dinner or fucking, this had never occurred to me.Wasit bullshit, to try and prove myself to him?
I took a few beats this time, trying to work it out.I had a lot to work on, yeah, and I thought I was making progress figuring stuff out.But I tried to zoom out and see things from Diego’s perspective.And after a few seconds, I said, “You mean it’s not really me.It’s a version of me I think you’ll like.”
“No.”He shook his head.“You were always shit at lying.”
“Fair.”
He frowned thoughtfully.
Slowly, deliberately, I said, “I haven’t even done anything above and beyond.But if I know you want something, and I have it to give, obviously I’m gonna do it.If that’s jumping through hoops, isn’t that what everyone does when they like someone?”
