I snorted.
“I guess I just feel lucky you want to be here,” he said finally, then gave a little nod, as if that said it all.
I took a long drink of my wine, flailing for the words to explain that him saying that didn’t make me feel any better.I mean, yes, obviously I loved to hear a big, beautiful man grovel a little.I’m not made of stone.
But I didn’t like that he felt the need to keep doing it, maybe?Not in a way that made me irritated or angry with him, but just in a way that made me feel…
Guilty?
Fuck.That was it.I feltguilty, seeing all this evidence of just how much he blamed himself for, as he’d said last night, disappointing me.
Because when it came to what’d gone down between us all those years ago, it was just as much my fault as his.Maybe more.
Fuck.
“Don’t,” I said suddenly, setting down my drink.
He nodded.But then paused and asked, “Don’t what, exactly?”
“Don’t… worry about that.Not right now.Let’s just—not pretend it never happened, but just put it to one side for now?”I suggested.
Another nod, this time with a smile.“Sure.”
“Tell me about Jennie.She seems like she has serious drama potential,” I suggested, trying to slide into gossip girl mode.Again, retreating into the familiar.
“I never really thought so before we broke up.”His smile was faint, crinkling the corners of his bright eyes almost fondly.An odd expression when talking about someone who had recently upended his whole life.“But looking back, she used to spill a lot of tea about her friends.And to her friends, and some of them live for it.So, I guess it was just that she never brought the drama on me.”
“Until she did.”
“Yeah, exactly.”
“I note that hockey boy wasnotpresent today,” I pointed out, stabbing a French fry into some delicious truffle aioli.“I bet he didn’t last a month.”
He chuckled.“No idea, honestly.I didn’t block her or anything, but I turned off notifications.Not sure why she’d tell me, anyhow.”
“Did she try to get you back?”
“Yeah, but it was kinda fake.Like she just didn’t want to have to pay rent on her own or something.”He snorted and sipped his expensive bourbon, rocks clinking.
“This is why living with someone is usually a terrible idea,” I said.Honestly, I was just impressed that he really didn’t seem to care; most peoplesaidthey didn’t care, but even when faced with his ex in the flesh, he’d just been kindamehabout it.
Kind of badass.Or sociopathic.Hard to say.
“When’s the last time you tried it?”he asked.
“Mmm, a year or two.I hate sharing a bathroom and I’ve never been able to afford a place with more than one.”I was being dead serious but was aware it was also funny, in a bitchy way.
“I have two and a half, so you should definitely come visit.You can have your own.”
“I might.”I smirked a little, already thinking I should do just that, and show up in the skirt.
“I’ll make you dinner,” he promised.“I do the most amazingcacio e pepe.”
“I don’t know what that is, but it sounds Italian, so I’m in.”Red meat, pasta, bread—all treats I rarely allowed myself.But if he was offering…
“Great.When do you have a free evening?”
“I’m usually off Tuesdays and Wednesdays.”
