Like I didn’t matter.
And that hurt worse than anything Mom told me about what he’d done to Sam.
The orchard was quiet except for the wind moving through the apple trees. I sat on the ground with my back against a trunk, my stuffed bunny in my lap. Cami sat next to me, and Nox was climbing one of the lower branches even though Maggie had told him not to, like, a hundred times.
“Are you okay?” Cami asked.
I shrugged. I didn’t really know if I was okay or not. Everything felt different.
I picked at the bunny’s ear. It was worn and soft from years of me carrying it around. One of the button eyes was loose.
“Mom said Derek hurt someone,” I said quietly. “A long time ago. Someone he was married to.”
Cami’s eyes got really big. “He was married?”
“Yeah. To Sam. Jack’s wife.”
“Wait, what?” Nox dropped down from the branch and landed next to us. “Jack’s wife used to be married to Derek?”
“I guess so.” I didn’t really understand that part either. How did you end up married to your brother’s ex-wife? That seemed super weird.
“What did he do to her?” Cami asked.
I swallowed hard. “Mom said he beat her. Like, really bad. She ended up in the hospital.”
Cami gasped. Nox just stared at me.
“But he told me about it,” I said quickly. “I didn’t know it was Sam. But he told me he’d hurt someone. That he did something bad. That’s why he goes to therapy.”
Cami was quiet for a minute. Then she said, “Do you think he’d hurt you? Or your mom?”
“No.” The word came out fast and sure. I didn’t even have to think about it.
Because Derek wouldn’t hurt us. I knew that the same way I knew the sky was blue and grass was green. It was just a fact.
“How do you know?” Nox asked, dropping down from the branch.
I looked down at the bunny in my lap. “Because he’s my dad.”
“What?”
I looked up at my best friend. “When I was little. Like, really little. Two, I think.” I ran my fingers over the bunny’s soft fur. “There was a man with dark hair and tattoos. He was big, but he wasn’t scary to me. He gave me this bunny.”
My throat felt tight. I’d never told anyone this before. Not even Mom.
“I didn’t know who he was for the longest time. I just had this memory of him. And then when I met Derek, it was like... I don’t know. Like I recognized him.”
Cami reached over and squeezed my hand.
“He’s my dad,” I whispered. “My real dad.”
Nox’s mouth fell open. “Does your mom know?”
“No.” I wiped at my eyes with the back of my hand. “But I know it’s true. I can feel it.”
We sat there for a while without saying anything. The wind rustled the branches above us. Somewhere in the distance, I could hear Maggie and Mom talking on the porch.
And that was when it hit me.
