I didn’t meet her parents. Didn’t want to know anything about them. They had to be better than me and Marsha. You couldn’t adopt a child without a thorough background check. They didn’t do that shit when you had your own.
Maybe they should.
I stared into my daughter’s eyes, and I gave her a small stuffed animal. I wanted her to have something from me. A way to assuage my guilt, I guess.
She was so beautiful. She had my mother’s eyes. I’d gotten my father’s brown eyes. His dark brown hair. His temper. I was too fucking much like him to take a chance on hurting my little girl.
So I gave her back to the social worker, and I kissed her head and walked away from her. That was my biggest regret.
I knew now that no matter what my daughter had done, I’d never lay a hand on her. My niece, Charlie, had taught me that. The day Marsha had shown up at my hotel, Charlie in her arms, claiming she was our little girl, was the day I knew that I would protect any child with everything I had.
I killed Marsha that day. It wasn’t intentional; we’d fought over the gun she had, but that was one thing in my life I didn’t regret. Not only did I save Charlie that day, but I knew my little girl was safe. The woman who had poisoned her for two years would never find her.
My daughter was twelve now. Ten years had passed since I’d seen her and held her in my arms. Not a day went by that I didn’t wonder about her.
Where she was.
If she was safe.
If she was happy.
Maybe one day, when she was an adult, she’d come looking for me. Wonder about who her real parents were. Would she understand why I had to leave? Would she hate me for not protecting her?
“Hey, Derek,” Jack called out behind me. I turned to look up at my brother. “King called. He was wondering if you could go by Grace’s old house. There’s a pipe under the sink that’s leaking.”
“Sure,” I said, taking the last sip of my coffee.
“Thanks, man.”
“No problem, Jack.” I stood up, and he held his hand out for my cup. I placed it in his hand and studied him. He wouldn’t look me in the eye, and I wondered if he’d been having second thoughts about me being here. “Everything okay?”
Jack looked up, and a sad smile spread across his face. “Yeah,” he sighed. “Just a lot going on the last few months.”
“You’re sure you’re still okay with me being here? I can get another place until the houses are done.”
Jack stepped forward and placed a hand on my shoulder. He shook his head. “You aren’t going anywhere. I want you here. Sam wants you here. I want all my girls to grow up with their uncle.” I looked down at my boots. “You need to forgive yourself, Derek.”
“Easier said than done, Jack.”
“We’ve forgiven you.”
“I know. Though I still don’t know why,” I confessed. Jack was a better man than I would ever be. I’d never forgive someonewho’d done what I’d done. Hell, I didn’t think I’d ever forgive myself.
“Because you’re family.”
It was that simple for him. We were brothers. Nothing else mattered. But he didn’t grow up like I did. He didn’t grow up being beaten by his father. He didn’t have the trauma from his childhood that I had.
That was what Haizley called it. Childhood trauma. It sounded like an excuse to me. I was a grown fucking adult when I beat the hell out of Sam. I knew that what I had done was wrong. And no amount of therapy would convince me I was worth forgiving.
I nodded at Jack and climbed into my truck. Turning the ignition, I drove toward the gate. Zero was on guard duty today. The man fucking hated me and made sure I knew it.
He’d seen me coming but ignored me. I sat in front of the gate, waiting for him to open it. This was a game he played. A way to assert his dominance. Letting me know I was nothing behind these walls. Here only because King deemed it acceptable because of what I could do for them.
I didn’t honk my horn. I’d learned quickly that only made him angrier, meaning it would take longer for him to get over himself and get bored with making me wait.
He lifted his phone to his ear and turned around. Looking in my rearview mirror, I saw Jack still standing on his front porch. A smile creased my face, and I knew he was cussing Zero out. The gate finally opened, and I moved forward slowly. I waved to Zero with a grin as I passed through it.
It was a short distance through town to Grace’s old house. She was living at the clubhouse now that she and King were officially together and having a baby.
