Haizley nodded. “Tell me what you’re afraid of.”
“That I’m wrong about him. That I’ll let him in and he’ll hurt Frankie.”
“Do you actually believe Derek would hurt Frankie?”
I opened my mouth to say yes, but the word wouldn’t come. Despite everything I’d heard from Sam, from Zero, that wasn’t the man I knew.
“No,” I whispered.
“Then what are you really afraid of?”
I looked down at my hands. “That he’ll hurt me.”
“Kat.” Haizley leaned forward. “Are you actually afraid Derek will hurt you? Or are you afraid he won’t, and that you’ll have to admit you were wrong about him?”
The question hit me like a slap.
“Do you think you might be using Derek’s past as a way to protect yourself?” Haizley pressed gently. “A way to avoid being vulnerable again? Avoid risking your heart?”
Tears burned my eyes as I thought about her question. “What if I’m wrong?”
“What if you’re right?” Haizley countered. “What if Derek has changed? What if you’re so afraid of being hurt that you push away the best thing that’s ever happened to you?”
I pressed my hands to my face.
“You’ve built walls to protect yourself and Frankie,” Haizley continued. “That’s survival. But at some point, those walls stop protecting you and start trapping you. Derek isn’t asking you to tear down all your walls at once. He’s just asking you to open the door.”
I didn’t have an answer.
On day ten, a little over a week after everything came crashing down around me, the knock came again at seven. Thistime, I was waiting. I was already standing at the door, my hand on the deadbolt.
I’d been standing there for ten minutes, trying to work up the courage to do what I knew I needed to do.
Open the door.
Let him in.
Trust yourself.
I took a deep breath and slid the chain lock free.
Then I opened the door.
Derek stood on the porch, his hands in his pockets, his eyes widening slightly when he saw the door fully open.
“Kat.”
“Hi.”
We stood there in silence, the morning air cold and still between us.
“I’m sorry,” I said finally. “For making you wait. For not letting you in.”
“You don’t have to apologize—”
“Yes, I do.” I stepped back, opening the door wider. “Come in. Please.”
Derek hesitated, like he didn’t quite believe what he was hearing.
