“Every single day,” she continued, her voice breaking with fury and pain. “Every single conversation. Every time you looked at her, touched her, talked to her. You knew. Youknewand said nothing.”
“I was trying to find the right—”
“Don’t.” She held up a hand, her whole body shaking. “Don’t you dare tell me you were waiting for the right time. There is no right time to tell a mother that you’re her child’s biological father. You tell her immediately. You tell her the second you realize it.”
My throat tightened. She was right. Completely, devastatingly right.
“Does everybody know?”
“Haizley’s the only person I told because she’s my therapist. She’s been helping me work through everything.”
“And she didn’t suggest you tell me?”
I closed my eyes against her question. It felt more like an accusation, because Haizley did warn me. In fact, she’d urged me to tell them both the truth.
“You’re such a coward. Who else did you tell?” she demanded. “Did Zero know?”
My eyes snapped open; anger that his name came from her mouth boiled inside me. My hands landed on my hips as I tooka deep cleansing breath, the way Haizley taught me to do when I needed to calm the beast inside me.
“No, he didn’t know. I confessed to Jack, in front of Gunner, when they pulled me off Richard so I wouldn’t fucking kill him for hurting my daughter. For hurting you,” I spat out, then blew out my anger with a harsh breath. “But Jack already knew. He and Sam where the ones who hired Slyce to find you.”
“Slyce,” she whispered. “She refused to tell me who hired her. I thought it might be Frankie’s moth—wait, you killed her. You killed Frankie’s mother.”
I took a step closer to her, letting her hear the anger in my voice. “Youare Frankie’s mother. Not Marsha. Call her the woman who gave birth to her, call her a fucking surrogate, but don’t ever call her Frankie’s mother. A mother doesn’t hurt her child.”
She stared at me, tears in her eyes, but there was something else. Something I wanted to call acceptance, bordering on love. Something I wanted to hope for. She shook her head and turned away.
“I trusted you,” she said, tears streaming down her face now. “I let you into our lives. Let Frankie get attached to you. And the whole time you were keeping this massive secret that affectseverything.”
“I know—”
“No, you don’t know!” She was yelling now, and I let her. Let every word land, let her rage wash over me without flinching. “You don’t know what it’s like to be lied to over and over again. To have men look you in the eye and tell you half-truths while hiding who they really are. You don’t know what it’s like to question every single decision you make because you can’t trust your own judgment anymore.”
I stayed silent, my hands clenched at my sides, fighting every instinct that screamed at me to defend myself, to explain,to make her understand. Because Ididknow what it was like to question yourself. Ididknow what it was like to not trust yourself.
“I have spent years” she continued, her voice raw, “yearstrying to protect my daughter from men who would hurt her. And I let you in. I let you get close to her. I let myself...” She broke off, shaking her head. “And you were lying the whole time.”
“I never lied to you,” I said quietly.
“Omission is lying!” She stepped closer, her eyes blazing. “Keeping the truth from me is lying. Letting me believe you were just some guy who fixed my sink when you are actually herfather—that’s lying, Derek.”
My jaw clenched. “You’re right.”
“Stop saying that!” She shoved my chest again, harder this time. “Stop being so fucking calm and controlled. Stop proving you can take it. I don’t want you to take it; I want you to be honest with me!”
“I am being honest.” I kept my voice level even as my heart hammered against my ribs. “I’m telling you that you’re right. That I should have told you sooner. That I was wrong to keep it from you.”
“Why?” The question came out broken. “Why didn’t you tell me?”
“Because I was terrified.” The truth ripped out of me. “Because I knew the second you found out, you’d look at me exactly the way you’re looking at me right now. Like I’m a threat. Like I’m someone you need to protect Frankie from.”
“Youaresomeone I need to protect her from,” she said, but there was less conviction in her voice now.
“No.” I held her gaze. “I’m someone who would die before I let anything happen to her. I’m someone who’s been trying tofigure out how to be worthy of being her father when I don’t even know if I deserve the chance.”
“That’s not your decision to make alone.” Her voice cracked. “You don’t get to decide when and how I find out that you’re her biological father. You don’t get to control that information.”
“I know.” The words felt like gravel in my throat. “I know, and I’m sorry. I’m so fucking sorry, Kat.”
