“So, what else did you want to know?”I asked, trying to sound like I wasn’t about to hyperventilate.
Koen set his beer on the coffee table, then eyed me.“Rya, if you’ve changed your mind about me being here, all you have to do is say so,” he said.“I won’t get offended or upset, I promise.Contrary to what drunk frat boys may believe, a girl has the right to change her mind about anything and everything.”
I let out a huge sigh, though I made sure to smile.“Was I being that obvious?”
“I think that you’re still not sure about me, and it kind of shows,” he replied honestly.“But I’ve got all the time in the world, baby.”Then he immediately grimaced as he added, “Well, except for during our fiscal budget reviews, planning of the company Christmas party, and pretty much any time that we land a new investor.”
“So, is that your way of saying that I’m never going to see you again?”I quipped.
“That’s my way of saying that you’re going to have to be patient with me, and when we are able to spend time together, we’re going to have to make it count,” he replied seriously, though he did have a grin on his face.
After setting my own beer on the coffee table, I asked, “What are you expecting from me, Koen?”
“Rya, I just want to date you,” he answered.“I want to date you, get to know you, and maybe build a future with you if we get to that point.But for right now, I just want to learn everything that I can about the pet groomer who kicks ass during pool.”
“Well, I hate to break it to you, but that about sums it up,” I chuckled lamely.
Koen moved closer to me, then reached out to grab a few strands of my hair, letting it slide through his fingers.“No, baby.There’s a lot more to you than just a job and a hobby.There are your friends, parents, childhood, dreams, passions, experiences, and this goddamn hair of yours.”
“What’s...what’s wrong with my hair?”
“Nothing,” he answered, his voice lower, deeper, and doing crazy things to me.“It’s just got to be the prettiest shade of fire that I’ve ever seen.”
Staring into his grey eyes, I decided to be as honest as I could be.“You’re going to hurt me, aren’t you?”
“Actually, I think you have that backwards, Rya,” he replied, his fingers still playing with my hair.“I think that you’re going to have me on my knees before I even know it.”
He sounded so convincing that it brought tears to my eyes, my emotions everywhere.Never in a million years did I ever believe that a guy like Koen Wilder would be interested in me, much less sitting in my living room, telling me that he was fascinated with the color of my hair.For years, I had settled with a lot less than I had probably deserved out of fear of getting my hopes up, because hope was a dangerous, dangerous thing to have when you were used to the ugly side of life.
“I wouldn’t know the first thing about breaking someone’s heart,” I whispered, letting him know that it was definitely going to be the other way around.
“You say that like making me exist without you wouldn’t be enough,” he said right before his hand slid around my neck, and the next thing that I knew, Koen freakin’ Wilder was kissing me.
As if I’d never kissed anyone in my life, my hands went to my thighs, and my fingers dug into the thick flesh, doing my best to hold on to some sense of reality.Koen’s lips were soft, his tongue was insistent, and he tasted like he could make all my worries go away.
He was also kissing me like he was afraid that I might freak out at any moment, and I wasn’t sure how I felt about that.I didn’t want him treating me like fragile glass, but I also didn’t want him to treat me like another motel room hookup.I wanted this to matter, and the only way to do that was to make sure thatneitherof us treated the other like a two o’clock am option.
Just then, Koen pulled back, and my heart felt like it was going to beat right out of my chest.He was looking at me like he couldn’t bear not to, and I’d never had a guy look at me like that before.His grey eyes were a dark pewter, alive with a need that made me feel wanted in a way that I’d never thought possible.
“I think I’m going to go, baby,” he said, and I felt the disappointment all the way to my toes.
“What?Why?”
“Because I want more from you than is appropriate on a first date, and I refuse to fuck this up,” he said, and I wasn’t sure how much more I could take.Koen was saying and doing all the right things, and it was fucking me up something fierce.
“What...what if I don’t want you to go?”I asked, practically panting.
“Rya, don’t do this to me,” he begged.“I didn’t bring a condom with me because-”
“I have some,” I quickly rushed out, and his eyes darkened in a way that made me a bit crazy.
“I don’t want to know that you have condoms,” he replied, his voice hard.“I want to pretend like you didn’t have a life before you met me.”
Feminists all over the world would be outraged by such a statement, but all I felt was a dangerous warmth spread across my chest, loving that a man might really be jealous over me for the first time in my entire life.
“I want you to stay,” I finally told him.“I’d like you to stay, and I’d like you to stay all night.”
Koen gave me a tight nod before saying, “If I stay, then I’m staying for more than just one night, Rya.If I stay, then that means that you are mine, I am yours, and that we’re doing this for real.”His hand tightened on my neck as he added, “So, be sure of what you’re asking, baby.”
