“No, like,objectively. You’re beautiful,” she repeats. “You know that guys trip over themselves when you walk by, right? Likeliterallyyesterday on the quad, that frat guy walked right into a lamppost because he was checking out your ass.”
My cheeks prickle as I start blushing. “I just thought he was looking at his phone.”
“He was lookingat you,”she says, squeezing my hands. “And your big brown eyes, your gorgeous hair, and yourbody, Jessica. You have a body—”
“I know I have a body, Becks,” I laugh. “I’m pre-med.”
Dani screams louder into her pillow. Becca takes a deep breath.
“That’s not what I meant. What I’m trying to say is that youaregorgeous. You’re a beautiful girl, but you’re eighteen years old, and you’ve never—not even once…?”
“Well, I’ve never had a boyfriend. You know that.” It’s the sad but honest truth. I’m a busy girl. Between the muffins that take the better part of a Sunday morning and all the work I did in school so I could get into a great college, I’ve led a pretty sheltered life.
Not to mention growing up in a small town where the most exciting thing to ever happen to me was getting a participation trophy for soccer when I was twelve.
My mom was always pleased with me. Always said I was doing everything right.
But apparently, I’ve missed out on something…
“What about yourself?” Lourdes asks, stopping her pacing. “You’ve never…on your own?”
These may be my friends, but I’m starting to feel a little awkward now. Like an alien species being examined at the museum.
“I mean…I tried once or twice,” I say, trying to be forthcoming. “I didn’t really know what I was doing, and then Mom knocked on the door asking if I wanted pizza or pasta, and that was the end of that.”
Dani has given up screaming into the pillow and is simply lying face-down on the carpet looking defeated.
“Okay,” Lourdes says with the expression of a woman who’s just made a decision. “This is fixable. Totally fixable. We just getyoua vibrator, we show you how it works, and—”
“A vibrator?” I ask, pointing to the pink thing. “Is that what that is?”
Dani groans like she’s been kicked in the ribs.
“That’s what that is, yes,” Becca replies.
I shrug. “Okay, well, I have anatomy textbooks. I can figure it out.”
Becca blinks twice. “That isthe mostJessie sentence that I’ve ever heard.”
Lourdes laughs.
I don’t know what to do, so I just smile and reach for my Boba tea. I’m running low, so my straw makes an awkward slurping sound as I suck up the tiny, delicious balls.
My friends turn to each other, excluding me from a vigorous conversation that I only catch bits and pieces of. Then they turn back to me, showing me diagrams on their phones and possible products on websites I wouldneverin my life visit.
How do they even know all this stuff?
They ask me questions that should embarrass me—anatomical questions—but I answer them honestly. I mean, it’s just the human body. What’s there to be ashamed about?
It’s almost ten o’clock when Lourdes presses the buy-button on something that looks a lot more mechanical and a lot less sleek than the pink zucchini sitting on the coffee table.
“Express shipping,” Becca insists. “Do they have first-day-air?”
“Geez, it’s not an emergency or something,” I protest.
Dani puts a hand on my shoulder. “Yes. Yes, it is.”
Lourdes nods in agreement. “It’s going to change your life.”
