Wrapping my arms around her until she’s fully enveloped, I pull her as close to me as two bodies can be and just hold her. My heart broke when I lost her and I feel the same intensity she feels now, we just show it in different ways. My desire to shelter and protect her has increased a million times over now, and not only because of her pregnancy. It’s mainly because she’s shown her devotion to me during a time when she had no reason to.
I failed her but she only focuses on her actions. Her well-being is my primary concern now, and that is part of my responsibility as her Dom. “Sophia,” I murmur against her ear, “my love, calm down for me. It’s not good for you to get so upset.”
Rubbing her back and gently kissing her head, her body begins to relax against me. Her sobs diminish into occasional hiccups until her breathing finally returns to normal. She sniffles every few seconds, but I can feel the tension rolling off of her in waves. “That’s my girl. Feel better now?” I ask, keeping my tone gentle.
She nods but her grip on me tightens, telling me she’s not ready to be released yet. I smile and lower my face to rest my cheek on top of her head. Every part of our body is touching, and as my hands roam across her body, I realize just how much weight she has lost. I can feel each notch to count her ribs. Moving my hands further down, I feel her hipbones protruding more and my concern for her health increases significantly.
Quietly soothing her, I raise the question that plagues me now. “Sophia, I asked you earlier, but I want you to thoroughly think about this before you answer. Really consider every remote possibility.”
“Okay,” comes her muffled reply.
“Do you trust me? Completely, absolutely, and without a single doubt or question? If I told you to do something that’s best for you, would you do it even if you didn’t want to? Don’t answer right away, and give me your completely honest answer.”
While she considers my questions, runs through the scenarios in her mind, and weighs her choices, I wait on baited breath. Her answer has to be unequivocally‘yes’for this relationship to work. No reservations, nothing held back “just in case.” This is an all-in or all-out situation and I think she knows that. The part of her mind that is holding onto her fears is what keeps her from giving herself completely to me.
“Dom,” comes her watery reply. “Can I tell you something before I answer that?”
“Of course,” I reply, knowing that every insight into her thought process gives me an advantage–gives us an advantage.
“When I was seventeen, I left home and lived on my own, on the streets. I graduated high school early since I had enough credits, but you know my home life had become unbearable. I had already lost my mom and my dad before that, but then I later lost my brother–the one person who really loved me and the one I truly loved.
“Then when I met Harrison, I thought he was good. I thought he loved me and would help me, but I was so wrong about him. Then I met you, and you were more than I ever thought a man could be. More than I deserved. But, I fell for you, so fast, so hard. My love for you can’t even be described. Then I lost you, too.
“I’ve lost everyone I’ve ever loved, Dom. It scares me to know that I would be happiest just giving you all of me, just being completely lost in you. What happens to me if I do and then I lose you? There would be nothing left of me.”
Knowing fear was at the root of the problem is one thing. Hearing her describe it in those terms is another. Her question wasn’t rhetorical. As her Dom, she needs me to have the answer, to reassure her, and to make the hard decisions so that she doesn’t have to do it. The consequences of any decision will be on me, and none of the blame will be on her.
“Sophia, you are mine to love, to cherish, and to protect. I will take the burdens from your shoulders and put them on mine, because I can carry them. I can bear those heavy loads better than you can. All you have to do is let them go, let them fall on me, and I will gladly take them for you.
“You’ve been strong long enough. The tough decisions aren’t up to you anymore. The negative repercussions of those decisions aren’t yours to worry about anymore. You’reMy Angel, and I’m your immovable rock. I’m not going anywhere, Sophia. You’ll always have me. Lose yourself in me, give me all of you, and let me make you the happiest woman that ever lived.”
Those aren’t just pretty words and hollow promises I just made her. That is my binding word, my honor, and my love. Everything that means anything to me is in my arms right now–My Angeland my child. This is my family and this is what I will protect with swift ferocity. When her body softens, and there’s no way to tell where she ends and I begin, I know she’s made up her mind. She can’t get close enough to me as she prepares to give me her answer.
“I trust you, Dom. Take all of me. I’m nothing but an empty shell without you. I would rather have five minutes of real happiness with you than a lifetime of nothingness without you,” she surrenders.
It’s such a beautiful thing to watch her submit, to break down her walls, and to lay down her fears. Trusting me to keep my word, keep her safe, and love her through it all fills me with purpose and pride. Sharing the deep love we have for each other is what keeps us going through the darkest hours. Sophia will never doubt my unending love or my unyielding commitment to her again.
Sophia
Can this be true? Am I dreaming? If I am, I don’t ever want to wake. The other dream I had about Dom gutted me. It felt so real when he rejected me, but having him hold me and whisper words of love feels more like a dream than reality. I never thought I’d see the day when he’d welcome me back in his arms.
Even knowing there are still issues we have to work through doesn’t scare me. His promise to me just gave me all the reassurance I need to know that everything will work out. I finally know what it means to let him in, to let him see the sides of me that I keep hidden from the rest of the world. The old fears no longer matter.
“Dom,” I whisper into his chest, “it feels like such a heavy weight has been lifted off my shoulders and from my heart. I’ve missed you so much.”
“I’ve missed you, too,My Angel,” he whispers back and sends chills across my entire body. “It’s good to have you back in my arms.”
“I’m afraid I’ve made a mess of your white shirt. I’m so sorry about that, Dom. Do you want me to go get you another one?”
“Shhh,” he soothes, “that’s not for you to worry about, love. It’s only a shirt. It means nothing. I have plenty more at home. Speaking of, that’s where I’d like to take you now.” Placing his hands on my shoulders, he gently pushes me away from his body to look at me as he talks. “Sophia, you’ve lost so much weight and I am concerned for your health, and our baby’s health. I think it’s best that you quit working now.”
“Am I not doing a good job here?” I ask, the panic threatening to close my throat off.
He smiles warmly at me, “Yes, Sophia, you’ve been doing an excellent job here. I made the best business decision of my life when I hired you. But, everything that you’ve been through over the last couple of months is taking a toll on your body. Trust me.”
This is the pivotal moment where I have to decide if I’m truly his sub and he’s truly my Dom, or if I will hold on to my fear and let it rule my life. No matter what the question is, my answer will always be to choose my Dom. I’ve learned my lesson in thinking that I can handle everything. I’m strong, but there’s more strength in accepting love and help than there is in refusing it.
“I trust you,” I reply, conveying that I’ll do as he asks. Dom leans down and captures my mouth with his. The feel of his lips on mine again is pure bliss. It’s been so long since I’ve felt him. I want to burn this feeling, his taste, and his kiss into my memory to sustain me for the days when he’s away.
