“Humph,” she replies and looks anywhere but at me.
She remains in the doorway as I walk toward her. I wrap my arms around her waist and pull her to me, but her arms still hang limp at her side. She’s petulantly refusing to wrap her arms around me in return. Trying to soften her up, I kiss her softly on her beautiful lips, her cute little button nose, and then on the forehead.
Still nothing.
“I’m sorry, Sophia. I would never make fun of you out of meanness. Forgive me?”
She takes a deep breath and exhales loudly, relaying her inner war to either skewer me or forgive me. Her arms slowly rise to wrap around me, and when she finally makes eye contact with me, I see the glistening of the unshed tears that she’s fought back. I don’t understand her severe reaction to such a minor situation, but I have to consider that this is a reaction to something that runs deeper than what I see at the surface.
“I have to forgive you. You’re my Dom. It would be disrespectful for me not to,” she replies sullenly.
“Baby, I’m sorry, okay? Really, I wasn’t making fun of you. You are one of a kind. I’ve never been with anyone like you before. I would never hurt you on purpose,” I promise her and myself.
“Do you mean that, Dom?” she asks, searching my eyes with a crestfallen look on her face.
What the hell is going on?
“I always mean what I say, Sophia, and I say what I mean. I won’t lie to you and I expect the same from you. You are special—everything about you is different.”
“Alright,” she replies softly, “I forgive you.”
Pulling her closer, I just hold her for several minutes. I really want to get to the bottom of this, but we need to go because traffic in La Jolla can be very congested. I don’t want to take any chance that would make us miss this tour. She’s far too excited about it and there’s no way we’re not going now.
A thought suddenly hits me and makes me feel even more like shit.She’s never asked me for anything.In fact, she’s been hesitant to takeanythingfrom me since the day she started working for me. This one thing that I’m giving her is probably the first thing she’s let me do for her without some level of hesitation.
Lowering my arms to rest below her ass, I lift her from the floor and she instinctively wraps her legs around my waist. She lays her head on my shoulder and tightens her arms around my neck. Carrying her, I take a seat on the barstool and tenderly talk to her.
“Sophia,My Angel, why do I get the feeling you don’t really forgive me?”
She sniffles and I feel like a total asshole. She speaks slowly and her voice is sincere, but strained, as she tries to hide the tears from me. “Idoforgive you, Dom.”
“What’s wrong then, baby?”
She hesitates before answering, but I can feel the wheels turning in her mind. She’s trying to formulate her answer so I will give her a minute without adding the pressure of reminding her it’s also disrespectful to make me wait. Doms, by nature, are demanding and expect things to be a specific way. That’s not to say we aren’t also lenient when needed and flexible when the situation calls for it. This is one of those times.
“What you said, Dom. I believeyou, butthatis just hard for me to believe,” she finally answers. I must admit that I am completely baffled.
“What do you mean, love? I don’t understand. Explain it to me.”
“When you said I’m special, one of a kind, and you’ve never had anyone like me before. No one hasevertold me that I’m special,” she whispers so softly it’s hard to hear her. But I know what I heard, and again I have to control my voice so that she doesn’t think I’m upset with her.
“You are very special, Sophia. You’re beautiful, smart, and loving. You make mewantto protect and care for you. No one has even come close to that in almost a year and a half, Sophia. So, see, you areMy Angel.”
She squeezes me tighter with both her arms and her legs, as if she can’t get close enough to me. Her body shakes as she clutches the back of my shirt in her fists. She’s holding back the sobs, and for the life of me, I still don’t know exactly what all of this is about. Idoknow she’s in no shape to talk right now without getting further upset.
“Sophia, sweetheart,” I say as I gently stroke her back, “let’s agree to talk about all of this –tonight—after you’ve calmed down and had a relaxing day. I want to know everything about you, but I don’t think now is the best time for you.”
Slowly, she releases her grasp on me and puts a little breathing room between us. After quickly wiping the tears from her face, she nods and agrees to talk later tonight. “I’m going to wash my face while you change into your swimming suit, Dom,” she says as she gets up from my lap. “If that’s okay,” she quickly adds.
“Of course, baby. Go ahead,” I reply thoughtfully.
* * *
This snorkeling tripis just what the doctor ordered. Or, in this case, just what the Dom ordered. Sophia is quiet on the ride over to La Jolla Cove, but she is also much more affectionate. Siting in the backseat on the way to the office this morning, she sat on her side of the car and had her seatbelt on. Now, she’s as close to me as she can get without actually being in my lap. Both of her hands are clasped around one of mine, almost as if she’s afraid I will get away from her and she’s holding on with everything she has.
When I pull my hand free of hers, sadness overcomes her face until she realizes that I’m putting my arm around her to draw her into my side. She willingly comes to me, wraps her arms around my waist, and lays her head in the crook of my shoulder. She has the happiest and most peaceful look about her—just the way she looked on the beach when I snapped the pictures of her.
After listening to all the safety instructions, we finally enter the water. Sophia comes alive again while looking at all the fish, leopard sharks, stingrays, and sea lions. For me, it is equally exciting to see Sophia in a skin-tight wetsuit. It’s actually giving me some good ideas for scenes we can play out when we’ve worked up to that in our relationship. The thing about wetsuits is they seem to enhance all body imperfections. In Sophia’s case, she looks like she was airbrushed into it and it only accentuates her beauty. In my case, it does very little to hide the most obvious bulge I get from looking at her.
