What am I thinking? I’m trying to picture my life for the next six months without you by my side. I’m trying to keep my heart from breaking when I think of all the special moments that we’ll miss sharing. I’m praying that you don’t realize you can find someone so much better than me.
“I love you,” I reply.
“I love you, too, Luke,” she says sincerely. “You don’t think a little tiff could make me stop loving you, do you?”
Shaking my head, I take the towel from her and wrap it around my waist. “No, I don’t think that. I’d like to think it’d take more than that to make you stop loving me. You want to tell me what’s stressing you?”
“Everything. Nothing in particular.” She shrugs.
Before I start into another round of my insecurities, I stop myself from trying to drag information out of her. She’ll tell me when she’s ready to tell me—that much I’ve learned about Andi. So, for now, I leave it alone and focus on the things I need to do today.
Walking to the closet, I grab my gear for the afternoon training fight and quickly dress. Andi is still watching me with a slightly confused expression. After getting everything situated, I put my bag beside the bedroom door and turn to her.
“I’m going to take a nap before I go back to the gym. Mack has arranged a training fight and told me to get some rest. Will you be here when I wake?”
“No.” She shakes her head. “I’m meeting Maria at the youth center to show her the ropes. She’s taking it over while I’m on the road. She may even keep the position after I get back. She’s really good with kids, and she’s excited about this opportunity.”
“You’re giving up the youth center? You love that place.”
“Maybe it’s time to find new hobbies to love.” She shrugs as she puts on her clothes. “I have to finish getting ready, but I can make you something to eat first if you want.”
“I’ll do it when I get up, baby. Thank you, though.”
She narrows her eyes at me. “You don’t have to thank me for that, Luke. I love taking care of you.”
It’s odd to feel like I’m losing someone who is still here with me. Even though she shows her love, desire, and care for me, the dark clouds are waiting on the horizon. As much as I try to push the thoughts away, it’s like a bad premonition that continues to haunt me.
Giving her a quick kiss as my only reply, I try to get a grip on myself. This isn’t like me to dwell on this at all. Our relationship has already been through hell and back, and it only made us stronger. After losing her once, I know it’s not something I want to experience again. That must be why this keeps bothering me so much. The impending separation feels like the time I lost her before.
I set the alarm on my watch and stretch out on our bed. After an eternity of tossing and turning, trying to get comfortable enough to fall asleep, and changing pillows repeatedly, I finally fall into a fitful sleep. The visions of her and Travis together wake me well before my alarm is supposed to, so I get up, eat, and decide it’s time to head back to the gym early.
