My plan is to take the offer to go on the talk show and answer all their questions honestly. Once the truth hits the media, there’s a chance that the girls he molested will come forward. Maria would be old enough now to remember what happened and tell the media. There are others, too. But it all depends on if they’re willing to speak up or not.
It’s a big gamble to put ourselves on the line like this. It could mean the end of Shane’s career. It could mean the end of Mack’s business and Sam and Linda’s business. And for everyone else, I don’t know what he will do, but I know he will find something to hurt you.
I won’t do it if everyone isn’t onboard. And I will understand – no hard feelings, no questions, nothing. I just need everyone to consider what this could do to you and make up your own minds.”
She sat and waited as everyone contemplated every possible scenario. Most everyone was quiet and it was hard to tell what they were thinking. I spoke up first.
“I don’t care what he tries to take from me as long as it isn’t you, Andi. I’m with you. I will stand beside you regardless of the consequences and regardless if anyone comes forward to confirm what he did.”
“But son,” my mom’s desperate plea is evident, “you don’t know what he’ll do to you and Andi. Or to us.”
“That’s true, Linda,” Andi responds kindly, “It is crazy, maybe, to take him on like this. But I think of those little girls and what they had to endure, and it doesn’t seem so crazy anymore.”
Mom was taken aback for a second. She hadn’t considered it from that angle and she immediately changed her tune. “I’m with you, too, Andi. You’re right – if those little girls could endure that monster, I certainly can, too.”
Then Shane spoke up, “I’ll admit I had a moment of….selfishness….when all of this first hit. But I agree – I will stand with you, Andi. I want to see him brought down for what he’s done. I want to make him pay for what he’s done to those little girls, to all of us here, but most of all, for what he’s done to you. He’s tried to turn you into a victim for a long time and it’s time we put an end to it.”
Everyone else chimesin with their agreement. We are now one unified family, standing together to weather the storm that is approaching. The storm we all know could have serious repercussions and implications on our lives and careers. But it’s the right thing to do and we’re going to stand together and see it done.
CHAPTER TWENTY-EIGHT
ANDI
I’m so nervous right now I’m biting my nails and pacing relentlessly. I know this is the right thing to do but I just don’t know what all the consequences will be. I can face the consequences for myself but I feel guilty that everyone else is suffering because of me.
I just confirmed I will do the interview with the talk show host and they’ll start running the promo ads soon. The show is taped so it won’t actually air until about a week after the interview. The studio audience will also be allowed to ask me questions.
The producer said if there are too many audience questions, they will edit some of it out of the final show. The “editing” process concerns me – especially if they edit some of my answers. I had a condition added to the contract that I have final approval for any editing of the questions and answers to make sure they don’t swap any around or cut out important parts of my answer to make it seem like something else.
After everyone left the other night, I tried to convince Luke that this wouldn’t work and that it was a bad idea. He saw right through my fear and continued to be my rock, giving me strength at the very times I don’t think I can keep this up. I don’t want to let him down – his faith in me gives me determination.
Shane hung back and we had a long talk about everything that’s going on around him. I wanted to make sure he was good with me answering questions about him. I’m sure they will come up. With all the tabloids and paparazzi runningstories, also known as lies, about me since my birthday, they know that Shane and I are close. And he’s made it a point to have his picture taken with me on several occasions.
He wants me to tell everything and leave nothing out. He reminded me of something I already knew - if it looks like I’m holding back on one thing then no one will believe anything I say. And it’s important that I’m believable so that Jackson’s real victims will feel safer in coming forward. Not to save me – but to save others who he may hurt in the future.
Shane offered to come with me on the talk show. While a big part of me would love to have him there, I don’t want to make him a bigger target than he already is. So I will answer all the questions about anyone in my life and pray it all turns out well.
I’ve decided on an awesome song for the competitionin two weeks. I’ve started practicing and gathering my props. It’s going to be great and I can’t wait. The promos for the talk show will be running by the time I perform again and this time I hope it does bring more people into the club. Iwantthis performance to be seen by everyone.
Luke has been staying at my house pretty much all the time now. I think he still feels awkward with it even though I’ve tried to reassure him in every way I can think of. I’m sitting at the kitchen table enjoying an afternoon caramel macchiato when Luke comes in and surprises me.
“Baby, is the offer to move in here with you still good?” He asks with his best smile but I see the vulnerability underneath the secure façade.
I smile warmly and grab his hand, “Of course it is! Are you really going to give up your bachelor pad now?”
Luke’s smile drops, his head tilts to the side and his eyes narrow in consideration of my question. “Bachelor pad? Did you really think that’s why I kept my apartment? To use it to run from us?”
It suddenly hits me that his voice has a hurt and offended tone to it. I admit I am totally confusedand feel like this is about to turn into an argument.
“Isn’t that usually why men hold on to a separate apartment when they’re supposedly in a committed relationship?” I ask innocently.
He considers my response andI realize that we both keep answering each other’s questions with another question.
“Luke, it’s just that we’ve been together for a while now. You stay here much more than you do at your apartment. But you have never wanted to give it up, no matter how much I want you to be here with me. So, I just naturally thought that you weren’t quite ready to make that kind of commitment to me….to us. You haven’t been ready to give up your safe house.”
I say this to him as non-confrontationally as possible. I’m really not trying to turn this into a big production. I am just really glad that he’s asking me about moving in and giving up his apartment. I love him so much and I can’t imagine my future without him in it. I don’t want to imagine that.
He walks slowly towards me, still thinking and nodding his head as if in a private conversation with himself. I wait and watch him as he processes what I’ve said and considers his own response.
