Shit, I can’t do this.
With my hand shaking, I grab the doorknob and slowly make my way back to the den. The den that is now empty and dark. I turn and find Luke walking towards me. He easily picks me up and I wrap my arms around his neck, softly placing kisses along his jawline. He effortlessly carries me up the stairs to my bedroom and deposits me on the bed. His big hand cups my cheek and I welcome the warmth of his touch by leaning my face into his hand.
He bends to kiss me and at simultaneously grabs the hem of my pajama top. He slowly pulls it up to my chin and only breaks our kiss to remove it completely. He wraps his hands around my shoulders and gently coaxes me up. Bent at his knees, he slowly pulls my shorts down and I’m now standing completely naked in front of him.
As he stands, my hands develop a mind of their own as they reach out to touch his bare chest and stomach. The muscles on his torso are so defined and beautiful, I can’t help myself. I run my fingertips over the lines and ridges of his muscles before reaching the waistband of his pajama pants. Lowering to my knees as I relieve him of his clothing, his impressive erection springs free and is conveniently positioned right in front of my face.
The intensity in Luke’s eyes when I take him in my mouth is palpable. I maintain eye contact as I take my time lavishing attention on him. My tongue circles it twice before I drop to the base and lick my way back to the top. Then I open wide and take him in until he hits the back of my throat.
I relax the back of my throat to take him a little deeper. He groans loudly as he grabs my hair in his fists on both sides of my head when I first hum then mimic swallowing, flexing and releasing my throat around him. He tries to stop me and I won’t let him go.
His words come out clipped and strangled, “Baby…..stop or…oh God…I’m going to-,” and there it is. I’ve found the limit of his restraint as he releases in my mouth and I swallow it down. When I’m positive I’ve drained every last drop from him, I lean back to look at him and lick my lips. In the blink of an eye, I’m weightlessly flying through the air and onto the bed with Luke already hovered possessively above me.
Have I mentioned how much this man turns me on?
Then he completely stuns me.
“From now until I die, whatever hardships we face, we will face together, side by side. You will never fight another fight alone. There is absolutely nothing I wouldn’t do for you. I love you with everything I am, baby. I will make you happy and I will give you everything you could ever want. You just can’t ever fucking leave me - Ineedyou, Andi, so much. I can’t fucking live without you.”
His voice is soft and low, but somber and sincere. His demeanor is kind but resolute. His eyes hold both adoration and purpose as they search mine, looking for affirmation that I believe him. His words are like fire and ice in my veins. They touch me like nothing else and remind me of what I’ve never had. He has just vowed to give me everything I could ever want or need in my life – love, security, support, loyalty and desire.
I am not normally such a big cry baby but that seems to be what I’m best at lately. Because with his declaration, my eyes are leaking like damn Niagara Falls. The tears are streaming down my face but I can’t tear my eyes away from his eyes. His face is mere inches above mine, his body covers mine and his hands are framed around my face, lovingly stroking my cheek with his thumb.
“Luke, for the rest of my life, I will believe in you and support your dreams, regardless of the circumstances. You have all of me and I give myself freely and unconditionally. You will never have a single reason to doubt me because my heart, my body, and my mind belong to you now. I trust you like I trust no one else. Everything I have, everything I am, and everything I will ever be means nothing if I don’t have you.”
The tenderness and affection in his eyes is intense and tangible, and I know that they mirror my own. He kisses me softly and tenderly, making slow, sweet love to my mouth with his tongue. My, my, the man can kiss – he curls my toes every time. But this time, along with curled toes, I am completely melting underneath him. “I will never get enough of that,” I murmur against his lips when he ends the kiss. I feel his smile against my lips as it spreads across his beautiful face.
This is the first time in my life that I’ve even wanted to share everything with anyone. This is the first time I’ve ever even wanted to depend on someone else since my parents died. Giving someone my full trust is foreign and uncomfortable. But I have to let him in for us to ever have a chance. And I know I must do the one thing that’s hardest for me – I have to let him protect me.
It’s not that I’m a control freak. OK, not atotalcontrol freak – only about certain things. The people I love have a tendency to disappear from my life. So, it’s not a far stretch to say that I want to protect the ones I care about simply to keep them in my life. Knowing this and changing my behavior about it are two very different things. Just because I know what’s best, or because I know what’s causing a problem, doesn’t necessarily mean I do what’s right. Old habits die hard or some such shit.
I believe him when he says he will stand beside me during the uphill battle we have coming. I also know he has no idea what kind of bloodbath this battle will soon become and I have to tell him. I have to finish the story – for Luke as much as for me. I stare deeply into his eyes while all of this is running through my mind and he just watches me, with a somewhat amused but loving countenance on his face.
“What’s going on in that beautiful mind of yours, sweetheart?” he asks with a warm smile.
“Luke,” I say on a whisper, “there’s one last thing I need to tell you about that bastard I stabbed.”Please, Luke, please don’t run from me.
“OK, baby. You can tell me.” He hasn’t moved or tensed a muscle in his body. His heart is open wide to me. I can feel it.
I nod and try to look down, away from him, but his finger gently tilts my chin up to maintain full attention. I release a calming exhale and really talk to him.
“I may need you topatientlyandgentlyremind me to let you protect me sometimes,” I state somewhat timidly. “I know this will come as a shock to you, but I’m a little stubborn and independent in that area.”
His lips twitch and he really tries to keep the laughter in but it proves to be too much for him. I glare at him with all my might. And then he really loses his composure and is now laughing uncontrollably.
“Yeah, baby, that is a real shocker,” he dead-pans after his fit of laughing hysterics has subsided. “I willpatientlyandgentlyremind you,” he adds lovingly. So much so that I can’t help but smile back. Then he takes his time as he kisses, licks and adores every inch of my body before making love to me, slowly and thoroughly, several times throughout the rest of the night. He is so very thorough in his exploration of my body. Every move, every thought and every touch was meant for my complete and total satisfaction.
I’m so in love with him that I can’t imagine what losing himnow would do to me. And this is so not me. I’m not the needy, clingy, cry-baby female that requires a man to complete her. But I feel different about Luke…..I think he could be the one man who could totally annihilate me if he left me. And that realization scares the shit out of me.
CHAPTER TWENTY-FOUR
LUKE
I’ve hade-fucking-noughof the paparazzi, the reporters and all these people they’re interviewing. They fucking don’t evenknowAndi but all they’re doing is talking trash about her. It’s been several weeks now and the smear campaign continues. She told me she had something else to tell me about that bastard the night we got back together but I haven’t pushed her for the information. I don’t even care what it is – she has my support no matter what.
Mitch is still doing a pretty decent job of keeping them out of the club so we can at least hang out with our friends. And I get to watch my girl on stage singing songs to me – even if it’s not for the contest. Like the other night when she sang Rihanna’sUmbrellato me, she let me know that no matter how bad things get all around us, our love will always shield us. We will take care of each other and nothing will ever come between us.
She has an amazing voice but the songs she picks for me makes my chest, and my head, swell with pride. Most every other guy in the club wishes he had her, but she’s all mine. She tells me and shows me every night in every way imaginable and a few that defy imagination. Hell, no, I’m not complaining. I will take my little vixen any way she wants.
