“If you say so, Andi,” Will replies to me warmly before turning his gaze briefly back to Luke and hardening his voice as he continued, “I still don’t like how he’s looking at you, though. He’d be…..safe….if he remembers that.”
I still held one of Luke’s hands in mine and I felt him tense, his body preparing for a fight andI quickly squeeze his hand and slightly tug on it. Not enough that Will would notice but enough for Luke to look at me. I barely shook my head from side to side, signaling “no,” and let Will walk away to resume his workout. The fire burning in Luke’s eyes was unmistakable and that fury is now aimed at me. Still, he doesn’t scare me, even though I don’t really know him, I have no doubt that he would never hurt me, even if Will wasn’t just a few feet away.
LUKE
I thought I was totally fucked when I basically shushed her when I was calling the guy “Andy.” Turns out Andi is a girl…my little vixen. I did not see that coming at all. Who knew? All I could think of at that moment was how she was about to kick me out and I’d have to answer my family’s questions about my dream being flushed down the toilet.
My parents are good people but they don’t understand or support my dream at all. My dad thinks I should go intosome kind of business, or work for him, and make a fortune like he did. Like my brother and sister both did. My mom is embarrassed by my boxing dream. She thought I should stick to what I originally went to college to be, but that path is lost to me now.
Momcan’t tell her friends what I’m really doing because she can’t stand the thought of them looking at her with such pity of how I turned out. Surely they would have to wonder what my parents did wrong with me, right? I’m the black sheep and I know this is my last shot to make my dream a reality. If I’m turned away here, there’s nothing else for me to do. No other trainer around here can do what Mack and his team does.
She had every right to skewer me right in front of every man in the gym for the way I treated her. But she didn’t. She did just the opposite – she let me keep my dignity and acted as though I didn’t just treat her like shit. She just earned every bit of respect I can give her and I fully intend on giving her that respect. It may kill me because there’s hardly anything I want more right now than to throw her over my shoulder and carry her off to my man-cave to have my way with her.
But right now, she’s focusing on my hand and it just feels too damn good to move. I’m thoroughly enjoying this – how the smooth skin of her hands are gently massaging the roughness of mine as she checks every square millimeter of my hand for weaknesses. If her hands feel this good on my hands, I can’t imagine how good they’ll feel when she puts them on my body. That’s what I’m fantasizing about right now, ever since she took my hand in hers.
When she first told me to give her my hand, I wasn’t sure if I should trust her. She had every reason to humiliate me in some insanely embarrassing way, but the look in her eyes when she motioned for my hand was warm and inviting. Not cold and calculating. I reluctantly gave her my hand and now I’m so damn glad I did. Nothing – and no one - has felt this good in a long time.
I knew it would be her after she sang that song last night. The way she looked at me from the stage, I was sure she was singing it only for me. The words ofI’m With Youstill ring in my head and I don’t even like Avril Lavigne’s music – chick music. But I hear it in Andi’s voice and I wonder if the words have meaning for us. We don’t know each other, but as girly as this sounds, it also feels like we do know each other.
I would never admit this shit to anyone – not her, not my friends – they’d all think I’ve turned into some pussy. But she had to feel it, too. Last night when she sang to me and right now, when she’s rubbing my hand with her velvety touch, there’s a connection between us.
She just admitted that she saw me there – she said she recognized me by my eyes today. I knew she was singing to me. The words still play over and over in my head – every word was meant for us but the chorus stays with me. She’s taken my hand in hers and I feel her on another level.
I’m so lost in thoughts of her hands, her voice, how she looked at me when she sang those words, and how she looked at me when I walked in the gym today, that I don’t even realize there’s a giant standing about a half-inch from us. And that giant ispissed. And he’s apparently pissed at me as he questions Andi about why I’m so close to her.
I didn’t even realize I had moved in closer to her but now that he has pointed it out, I am really damn close to her. I know I can’t move now without showing weakness. Andi’s calm voice speaks to the giant and calls him Will. Will’s gaze hasn’t moved from me at all even though he continues to speak to Andi. I refuse to look away because I’m not backing down from anyone – not when I have so much on the line.
From my peripheral vision, I see Andi’s hand moving to Will’s arm and he finally looks away from me. She speaks to him again and I see him relax somewhat. He likes her – no doubt about it. But he wants to protect her more than anything else and right now he sees me as a threat to her. When Will turns to issue an indirect threat to me, I am ready to throw down. No man threatens me and then doesn’t back up his words.
I am planning my first move when I feel Andi squeeze my hand and lightly tug on me until I look at her. I can see her barely shake her head, telling me not to carry out my plan of jumping the un-jolly giant standing beside us. I can see pleading in her eyes and she distracts me long enough that Will walks off with the last word in our silent war of determination.
When I realize he not only got away with threatening me, but I didn’t even say one word in retaliation, I am beyond furious with her but even more with myself.Since when do I let some girl distract me this way? This is un-fucking-believable! I can’t help but think that she did that to get back at me for hurting her little feelings earlier. Addgetting playedto how I was just made to look like a chump and pussy and now I’m beyond pissed. I can’t even see straight.
Keeping my voice low to avoid causing a huge scene, I basically hiss my words at her. “What. The. Fuck. Do you think you’re doing? Don’tevereven try to call me down again.” I lean in closer to her face with each word until I’m really in her face. I know I’m a big guy and I expect her to be scared and yell for Will to come save her.
And I’m completely wrong in assuming she’d be scared of me. I watch the fire build in her gray eyes until they become more of a gray-blue as my words and my stance sink in. She closes what little gap I left between us as she hisses her retort to me.
“You have NO. FUCKING. IDEA. Who you were just dealing with. Not only is he far more trained than you are, he has been coming here for YEARS and Mack would never tolerate a new guy fighting with Will. Especially over something as stupid as your fucking pride. I just saved your ass and no one else in here even knew what was going on. You should be kissing my ass right now!”
“How would you know he’s ‘more trained’ than me?” I growl back at her.
“I said FAR more trained,” she growls back.Damn, this girl isn’t backing down from me even one inch.
Then she continuesto shred me with her next words, “And Iknowbecause I’ve seen you fight before! Professional boxing rules are quite a bit different than yourstreet boxing rings, but Will’s been trained by the best and he’s damn good. From what I saw of your fight withEl Toro, you wouldn’t stand a chance against Will right now.”
I glancearound the room, checking to see who all had heard our little interaction, but thankfully no one was paying attention. Not even Will. I needed a minute to think about my response but I had none.
If she knew I’d fought El Toro, she must have been there. And if Mack trusts her to “check me out,” then there’s no doubt she knows what to look for in a fighter. And add yet another strike to my ego and confidence.
“Can I do my job now?” Her voice is calm again and holds no trace of the anger she just spewed at me. OK, I started the fight and deserved the anger from her in return, but I’m not admitting that it’s my fault right now. She just keeps surprising me and throwing me completely off balance. I simply nod once and she starts her examination of my other hand in the exact manner she’d done the first one. She gives no indication of any confrontation at all and after a minute or two, her touch has a calming effect on me.
“I didn’t mean to be so harsh, Luke. I’m sorry for that. I had planned to tell you that I’d seen you fight before and I know the rules of the street circuit are different than pro boxing, but you have real talent. But I didn’t plan to make it sound like a put-down. If this – going pro - is what you really want, I believe you can do it.”
She is so genuine – her tone, her words, her demeanor – they all prove she means what she said. She isn’t just blowing smoke up my ass. And those words, her apology and her belief in me, is the best thing anyone has ever said to me. In my whole life. And just like that, she showed me again that she deserves every bit of respect I can give her.
And again, all I can do is nod at her, hoping she knows with that one nod that I both accept her apology and appreciate her words. The irony of the situation isn’t lost on me though – I’m not that stupid. I’m the big, strong fighter but I can’t even find the damn words to apologize to this petite, beautiful woman who keeps throwing me lifelines even though I’ve done nothing to deserve them. Or her.
I have to question which one of us has the real strength. That’s not even true – I can already see she has me beat, hands down, no contest, game over.
