I squeeze my arms around her tighter, a silent promise that I’m here with her, because I don’t know what to say. She doesn’t say anything else about it and I don’t press. She said“when”she tells me and that she hasn’t told anyone else. I understand her – when she’s ready, she will tell me and only me. She doesn’t want anyone else around when we talk about it. My mind is already considering who it is I will have to kill for hurting her.
The words from the song she sang the night of Gran’s party come back to me and I realize the importance of them to her. I now understand why she looked and sounded so vulnerable that night. To me, at least, everyone else saw the confident Andi, the singer-slash-performer. I saw the words of the song in her, even if I didn’t fully understand what it meant to her then. She showed me her scars and she knows I’m still here with her, regardless of them or maybe even because of them.
Mom and Dad join us around the pool and I notice Dad is especially quiet tonight. I don’t know what’s wrong with him. He seemed fine when we got here but now he’s more distracted and somewhat irritable. He barely joins in our conversations and a couple of times he has no idea what we were even talking about. I know his business has taken a hit lately and I wonder if that’s what’s on his mind. And I have more than a twinge of guilt because I know I’ve added to his past financial problems.
He’s owned his own real estate development company for years and the economy has taken a hard toll. I make a mental note to talk to him later and find out what’s going on. When Andi and I leave, Brandon is first in line to hug her goodbye. If I didn’t trust her so much, I would have to kill my brother. But I definitely know something is wrong with my dad when he seems hesitant to hug Andi goodbye. She doesn’t seem to notice since he does eventually wrap his arms around her.
CHAPTER TWELVE
ANDI
Between the gym, the youth center, and spending time with Luke, the past month has flown by. Luke and I have alternated staying at his apartment and my house but we’ve hardly been apart at night. School has started back so there are more kids at the youth center in the late afternoons. I’ve been spending more time there with the kids because so many parents aren’t home – whether they’re working or just absent from their kids’ lives altogether.
There are a couple of girls in particular that I’m afraid could be in danger of dropping out of school or getting involved with the wrong crowd. I don’t want to fail them – I feel like we’ve come so far. I’ve been working on a scholarship plan for them to get them out of the area and into one of the smaller universities. I talk to them daily about the advantages they would have if they will just apply themselves. I’ve almost won them over.
Shane and Will came to the center last week and I was surprised to see Luke walk in with them. Surprised and thrilled. While Shane and Will worked with the guys on boxing, Luke took several of the boys outside and taught them how to work in the yard. They spent the day doing manual labor to make the yard look great. I couldn’t give the boys, and Luke, enough praise for all they did. Several of the boys even said they enjoyed learning to landscape and making “their place” look nice. I think Luke has sparked a whole new type of interest for the youth center.
It’s Friday afternoon and for the first time in what feels like forever, Luke and I have separate plans tonight. I’m going out with my girlfriends –Christina, Tania and Katie– and Luke is going out with Shane, Will and Brandon. I can’t help but smile at how jealous and possessive Luke is of me. I mean, does he not own a mirror? The man is gorgeous, he’s built like the most desired male model, and he’s just all around great. The girls are always after him and he’s worried about some guy hitting on me. It’s comical, really.
We haven’t said those three little words yet – though I think he feels it. I know I do. I almost told him a couple of weeks ago after my last karaoke performance. I sang Beyonce’sCrazy In Loveand made no attempt to hide that I was singing the lyrics just for him. And he didn’t take his eyes off me the whole time. I left the stage and straddled him in his lap to sing the last verse, just for him.
So, yeah, tonight will be fun with my girls but I also can’t wait to get back home and see Luke. We planned on meeting back at my house no matter how late it is. Yeah, we’ve both got it bad. But I do want to tell him I love him – even if he doesn’t say it back. I just feel the need to tell him – now. And I don’t want to regret not saying it when I feel it so strongly.
Luke calls just as I get home from the youth center.
“Hey baby, what are you doing?” I answer.
“Sitting here missing you,” the low, sexy timbre of his voice sends chills through me even through the phone.
“I miss you, too. Wish I could see you. Where are y’all going tonight?” I purr back to him.
“Shane mentioned wanting to see a band playing here this weekend,” he says.
I laugh, “Hmmm….I wonder if that’s the same band we’re going to see tonight.”
His sexy laugh rumbles through his chest, “I hope so. Then there’s no reason why I can’t sit with my girl on the guys’ night out.”
I want to say the words so bad, but I don’t want the first time I tell him to be over the phone. “I hope so, too. I would love to dance with my handsome man tonight. Maybe our friends know us well enough by now to not try to keep us apart.”
We talk for a few more minutes before I have to get ready or I’ll be late meeting the girls for dinner. We reluctantly hang up, but only after I promise to text him where I’m at and let him know I’m fine. He’s so protective and possessive. I only act like I don’t love it. I secretly do love that he cares enough to be protective over me.
I call a cab to meet the girls. No way am I driving tonight. I walk in the restaurant and find Katie waiting at our table. She and I order appetizers while we wait for Christina and Tania.
“So,Katie, something going on with you and Shane?” I ask, catching her completely off guard, as I planned.
She chokes on a cheese stick and takes a drink of water before answering.
“Why would you ask that?” Oh, isn’t she trying to be coy with me?
“You know, people only say that when they’re stalling and to get out of answering the direct question. That really doesn’t work on me. I’m a lawyer, remember?” I say wryly.
Her face turns red and we both know she’s caught. “I don’t really know what’s going on yet. We’ll see.”
That’s as much of an admission as I’m going to get right now so I’ll take it. And keep an eye on them. And embarrass them until my questions are answered. That’s just what friends are for.
Christina and Tania arrive, fashionably late, and we talk and laugh over dinner. I fill them in on my karaoke status – I made it through another round of cuts and have another week to practice my next song since there’s a band playing at the club this weekend. They ask if the guys are going to be there tonight, too, and from their excessive questioning, it appears that I’m not the only one who’s interested in the guys’ whereabouts this evening. Interesting.
We settle the bill, meaning I insist on treating my girls, and we make our way to our usual hangout. The guys are already there and have saved us seats. Funny how we split up and take up the vacant seats. I’m with Luke, of course, but I watch with amusement asTania sits with Brandon. Then Christina sits with Will. And, finally, Katie sits with Shane. But it’s the look on each of their faces that tells the real story. There’s something good going on with my little family here.
