Pulling my phone out of my pocket, I see I have a missed call and a voice mail from an unfamiliar number. Listening to the voice on my phone, I have to sit on a park bench and catch my breath. It’s so good to hear his voice, and I can almost feel him through the phone.
He said he loves me. He’s sorry. He wants me to come back to him. Do I want to?
I do. More than anything, I know I do.
How do I tell Travis? I don’t want to hurt him for anything in the world. I feel terrible about doing this to him. But my heart belongs to Luke, and it always has. I’ve always known that, even when I was mad or hurt and didn’t want to admit it, I knew.
“What’s wrong, Andi?” Travis asks, looking down at the phone clutched in my hand. “He called you. Didn’t he?”
Looking up at Travis, I know I have to be honest even if it hurts us both. “He did. He asked me to come back to him.”
“You’re taking him back,” Travis says sadly.
Tears form in my eyes as I nod. “It kills me to hurt you, Travis. I never wanted that. My heart won’t let go of Luke, though, so I think we need to try to work it out.”
“I understand, Andi. You can’t help who your heart wants,” he says, his pain evident on his face.
Standing, I wrap my arms around his neck and hug him. “You mean so much to me, Travis. I can’t just put you out of my life, unless you tell me to. Can we still be friends?”
He takes my hand and kisses my palm. “I’ll try, Andi. But right now, it may be too hard for me to be around you and not want more.”
My tears increase, and I can barely hold the sob down. I’ve hurt him so much and he doesn’t deserve it.
“I’m so sorry, Travis,” I cry.
“I love you enough to want you to be happy, Andi. Even if it’s not with me. Come on. I’ll take you back to Vegas. You still have a couple of days before the next show,” he says quietly.
Getting on the motorcycle without saying a word, I wrap my arms around Travis when he takes off. I feel his breath hitch in his chest for a second, and my tears flow even more. About a mile down the road, a car flies up out of nowhere and swerves over into our lane. Before I can react, I realize the car clipped the motorcycle and we’re now flying out of control.
When I come to, lights and sirens are going all around me and I’m in the most intense pain I’ve ever felt. The pain in my leg is excruciating, but the pain in my abdomen is even worse. Barely able to keep my eyes open, I can feel the life slipping away from me. My body is going cold, and I just want to sleep.
My thoughts immediately go to Luke and how I’ll never have the chance to tell him how I really feel. He’ll never know that I would’ve left every bit of this behind and stood by his side—that’s how much he means to me. Traveling, living out of a bus, and not seeing my family and friends are not worth it to me to have this career.
I’ve lived my whole life with very little family to speak of, and now I want a huge family. I wanted that family with Luke. The things that matter the most but never happened are the regrets that I’ll take to the grave with me. I feel it coming, and it’s harder and harder to keep it at bay.
“Andi! Andi, talk to me!” Travis yells, but his voice sounds far away. “Tell me you’re okay, baby!”
Feeling the wind and hearing the whirl of the blades tells me the helicopter landed nearby. The medic rushes over to me, and I faintly hear him telling me to hold on.
Hold on.
Just hold on a little longer.
