His head comes up. His nostrils flare and his chest expands as he pulls in air laden with our arousal. He's very still for a moment, just standing there in the doorway and his gaze lands right on us. He knows exactly what we've been doing in here.
He clears his throat as he steps in and sets the plate on the workbench. His voice is rough. “I’ve brought lunch. I thought you might be hungry…”
He shuffles for a moment, goes to say something and closes his mouth again. I’ve never seen Kev this awkward. He rubs the back of his neck, the gleam of sweat on his skin, and says, “I hope you like what I’ve brought.”
I don’t want him to go. It's irrational and I know it but it's there anyway. The same need comes from Aubrey, only he acts on it. Aubrey takes off his gloves and approaches the big alpha.
“Wait,” Aubrey says.
Kev goes still. I've never seen an alpha blush like he is now. His scent shifts, something warmer underneath the oakwood, and my body gives a definite pulse of response.
Aubrey rises on his toes and kisses Kev's cheek. “Thank you, Kev. It looks delicious.”
Kev's scent blooms, that warm note deepening, spreading through the humid air of the greenhouse. Aubrey pulls back and looks over his shoulder at me, something dancing in his eyes.
“Doesn't it look perfect, Espie?”
Kev hasn't moved. He's standing exactly where he was. Like if he stays still enough he won't startle anything.
I pull my hands out of the seedlings and wipe the soil from my fingers and cross to him. He stays exactly as he is, watching me come, and I rise onto my toes and press my mouth to his cheek. His skin is warm and rough with the day's stubble and he smells like oakwood and sweat and something sweet underneath that wasn't there before.
His breath eases out. I step back. Kev looks at both of us, his gaze intense.
“You know you're wanted here, right? Both of you.” He draws in a deep breath. “It destroys me. Knowing what happened. Knowing I wasn't there. I look at you both and I see what they took, and I want to.” He stops. Swallows hard. “I want to find every single person who ever hurt you and make them pay. Iwant to burn it all down. Every facility, every handler, every bastard who ever made you feel like you were less than human.”
“Kev.” The word breaks out of me.
“Every day you're still here is a gift. Every time you eat what I make, every time you let me close enough to see you, every time you don't flinch.” He takes a breath. “I notice. I'm grateful. You have no idea how grateful.”
He brings his arm up slowly, like he's afraid I'm going to run. His palm settles on my cheek. His hand is so big it spans from my jaw to my cheekbone, warm and rough, and I make a soft sound and turn my face into it, just a little, and his breath hitches.
He does the same to Aubrey. Aubrey's fingers curl around Kev's forearm where they're still wrapped there, holding on.
“You're doing so good,” he says, and his voice cracks. “Both of you. The way you've been fighting your way back. It's the bravest thing I've ever seen. Even if you give us nothing more than this. Even if this is all it ever is. You complete me. Both of you.”
He walks out the greenhouse door. Across the lawn, back to where Ezra and Lex are working, and he picks up where he left off like he didn't just come apart in front of us. Like he didn't just say all of that. Lex hands him something and Kev takes it and they keep building and the world out there just. Continues.
Aubrey and I stand there and watch him.
I want him to come back.
Not to talk. Not to hover at a careful distance with a plate of food.
I want him to come back and touch me the way he did before he walked away.
Chapter Thirty-One
Lex
The join holds. I run my thumb along the weld, pressing into the metal until it bites back cold against my skin. Solid. Good. Yesterday I wasn't sure it would be.
I've been out here since three.
Sleep stopped being an option around two-forty. I stared at the ceiling for twenty minutes before I gave up and came outside.
My shoulders burn. My coffee went cold on the railing hours ago.
Doesn't matter.
