The words hit Victoria in the solar plexus like a hard, disabling punch. She could only stare at Anna, at her green eyes wide and wet with tears, suddenly aware that the two of them were dangerously close to saying things that could never be taken back.
She wanted to lash out more, to wound, to hurt. But somehow she managed to wrestle back the impulse and began backing towards the door. “I…”
“Yes. Please leave,” Anna said, the words emerging in a half-strangled sob. “Please.”
Victoria fumbled behind herself for the brass doorknob. Twisting it in her hand, she stepped aside and pulled it open. She stood still for a moment, watching Anna by the sofa, opening and closing her hands helplessly while tears trickled down her cheeks.
In the end, she could only say one thing. “I should never, ever have trusted you,” she choked out, and then, finally, she did what she’d wanted to do since Deb Morales had dropped the information bomb on her.
She turned and began to run.
12
ANNA
Anna regretted the argument as soon as Victoria fled her office. Not that it had happened, exactly; they both had emotions that had needed an outlet. But it shouldn’t have been so volatile. She should have done something to deescalate it, that was her job, wasn’t it? Shouldn’t something she had trained in, practiced regularly with patients, shouldn’t that have been her first instinct when it came to her relationship… or whatever it was?
She sank back down onto the office sofa and cradled her head in her hands. Not only was she a therapist with shaky ethical boundaries, she was a lover with awful communication skills. Was there anything she could get right?
Well. Yes. There was one thing.
Anna lifted her head and gazed sightlessly out of her office window, her mind a million miles away. She couldn’t go after Victoria; their emotions were running too high, and Victoria needed to come down on her own. And as much as it pained Anna to even think about it, the best path was to allow Victoria to process things and, if shewantedto talk to Anna again, shewould find her. And if she never came back, Anna would have to processthatfor herself.
What Annacoulddo at this moment was manage her own responsibility for the mess they found themselves in now. Getting to her feet, she checked her appearance in the mirror. What little makeup she wore was slightly smudged around her eyes from crying, so she found a tissue and tidied that up. Her hair had come loose from its ponytail, so she took it down and smoothed it all back into place.
When she was as put back together as she was going to get, Anna set off to look for Elaine Martin.
She didn’t have to look too hard. Elaine’s office door in the Cardio wing was cracked open, so Anna peered in to see her at her desk, her white-haired head bowed over a patient file. Gingerly, she knocked on the door. “Elaine?”
Elaine’s head jerked up, and an almost comical variety of expressions flashed over her face in a matter of seconds—shock, guilt, a touch of anger, disappointment, exasperation. Just as rapidly, they were all smoothed away into a bland mask of polite welcome. “Dr. Monroe. Please do come in. We need to have a talk.”
“Ah.” Anna slipped through the door and closed it behind her. “I take it you’ve heard something then.”
“I’ve heard anearfulfrom Marcus Kinkade, to start with.” Elaine gestured for Anna to sit down. “He’s a jackass. So you can imagine how that conversation went.” As Anna took her seat, though, Elaine’s face was set sternly, her eyes narrowed. “All that said, you want to tell me what’s going on?”
Anna shrugged. “There’s really not all that much to tell. Yes, Victoria and I kissed in a stairwell. It wasn’t something either of us planned. She was crashing out after that mass casualty event. I had been assisting nurses in the ER, I saw her come out froma surgery she’d been pulled into and saw right away she was not doing well.”
Elaine steepled her hands in front of her, gaze opaque but steady. “I see. Go on.”
“I began to guide Victoria through a grounding exercise. At the end of the exercise, she kissed me.” There seemed no point in evading or obfuscating what had happened, not now. “I admit, I leaned into it, but then I broke it off and left the area.” She lifted her chin high. “I did not see Victoria again as a patient after that. Within a week or so, I had her care transferred to my colleague—you’ll remember that from our conversation.”
“If I’m reading between the lines correctly, I’d have to say that there were feelings on your side of some kind, and you knew about them.” Elaine’s keen gaze was unwavering. “Is that right?”
“I had felt an attraction, yes,” Anna admitted. “For some time. But I had no intention of acting on it at all. Victoria was my patient. I had a duty of care to treat her, and I did. I worked with her, gave her tools to help manage her issues. And when things got out of hand, I found her the best alternative care provider I could. My understanding is that things have been going well between them.”
“Mine as well,” Elaine confirmed. “I do wish you might have transferred that care earlier, when you realized there was some sort of emotional connection.”
“I thought it was one-sided,” Anna said frankly. “I really thought she hated me. So there would be no danger. And it was a challenge, trying to get through to her and make her see why she needed help.” She offered a wry half-smile. “I’m Alaskan. It’s not in me to back down from a challenge.”
“I can see that.” At last, Elaine’s face relaxed, ever so slightly, with a hint of a smile of her own. “Well, it’s a very, very narrow thing, but I think you have more or less avoided an ethicaldilemma here. What I don’t know is how this will all affect Marcus Kinkade’s crusade.”
“I’m not her therapist anymore, but I think I have a way to get him to back down,” Anna mused, rubbing her chin in thought. “We have that evaluatory board meeting in a couple of days, where I officially discharge her from my care and into Cam’s. I have… an idea.”
“Should you let me in on it?” Elaine asked. “If there’s anything I can do to help…”
Anna pondered. “No. I don’t think so. I think I want to keep your hands as clean as possible here. That can only help Victoria.” Her mind was racing as she got to her feet. “I need to go review the hospital policies around terminable offenses… fraternization as well, I think. I suggest you and Steve refresh yourselves, too.”
“You’ve got it.” Elaine looked concerned, but nodded as Anna left.
