“Thank you, Dr. Monroe.” When Anna dared glance up again, Victoria’s face was smooth, a porcelain mask of pleasantness. The electricity in the air had evaporated. “I suppose you’d like me to continue with the whole meditation and tea rigmarole.”
“I do think that given it seems to be helping you a bit, then yes, it won’t hurt to keep it up.” Anna nodded. “It’s not a miracle cure, though, you know. We’re only just in the beginning stages of your journey to wellness.”
“That’s averywoo thing of you to say, Dr. Monroe,” Victoria said with a disapproving note in her voice.
“Well, itisa journey, and wellnessisthe goal,” Anna pointed out mildly. “A journey to, I don’t know, mere competence doesn’t feel like it would serve anyone well.”
“I suppose that’s fair.” Victoria shrugged one elegant shoulder, then looked at the watch on her wrist. “I’m terribly sorry, Dr. Monroe. I actually have rather a full slate today, and a number of patients to check in on.”
“That’s all right.” Anna got to her feet, setting her notebook aside. “I’m glad that you had some time to come in today and update me on your progress with the relaxation agenda. I hope you do continue with it.”
“I can appreciate the amount of sleep I’ve been getting.” She smiled, just a bit, just the merest hint of a pleased curve to her lips as she stood as well. She hadn’t mentioned the nightmares, but then, Anna supposed, she didn’t have to. She was sleeping through the night. It stood to reason that the nightmares were, at the moment, being held at bay.
“Then I’ll look forward to seeing you in a few days for a further update.” Anna headed for the door, and felt Victoria closing in behind her.
They reached for the doorknob at the same time, hands brushing, and suddenly, the electric crackle between them was filling the air again. Anna knew she shouldn’t look over her shoulder at Victoria… but she did, meeting that icy blue gaze.
But it wasn’t icy at all. There was a heat there, the blue flame of a gas stove, holding Anna arrested in place. Heat wafted between them, filling the air with the scent of their perfumes, with sugar and cherry jam, a sweet heat that made Anna’s stomach twist.
They were close. Too close. She could only see Victoria’s lips, that perfect rose-pink pout, and she wanted to?—
Anna jerked back in shock, horrified at how close she was to crossing an ethical boundary. Her surprise shocked Victoria in turn, who also stepped back and shook her head. “I’ll see you in a few days,” she said, brushing Anna’s hand off of the doorknob and twisting it open. Without another word, she was out the door, leaving only a frisson of ozone and her expensive perfume in her wake.
Anna stood still, raising a trembling hand to her mouth, rocked with mingled regret and desire.
Two days later, the kiss that wasn’t still occupied every other thought she had.
With no patients this morning, Anna had gone to the Indigo Lounge for an unaccustomed daytime pick me up of one of the delicious mocha concoctions that resident barista Natalie did sowell. And perhaps a fried potato and pepper skillet. And also, perhaps, a little sensible chat with Esme.
Esme looked surprised to see her. “To what do I owe this honor?” she asked, wiping her hands on a bar towel and coming around to give Anna a hug. “I thought you usually hit up that French bakery in the mornings. And way earlier than this.”
“A rare free morning,” Anna said, hoping she was putting a cheerful enough note in her voice that Esme wouldn’t spot her turmoil behind it just yet.
But there is no one as perceptive as a queer bar owner who had been in the business for multiple decades, and as soon as Esme’s eyes narrowed, Anna knew she’d been rumbled. “Hmm. Give me your order and go sit at that back corner booth. I’ll be there soon.”
Chastened, Anna did as directed, sitting in the back booth, twisting her fingers into knots. Sometimes it was deeply inconvenient to be such an open, honest person, she reflected. She simply wasn’t capable of deceit on any level. It made her patients trust her, but it also made her a goddamned open book.
Esme arrived with a hot skillet in one hand and a whipped cream iced mocha in the other. “One Home Skillet Sizzler and a Dietrich’s Delight Mochaccino,” she announced, delivering the goods with a flourish before sliding into the seat across from Anna. “I did my part. Now, talk.”
“I almost kissed her,” Anna blurted out, covering her face with her hands so she couldn’t see Esme’s reaction.
She didn’t need to see. “Whew,” came out with a low whistle, and the sound of Esme slumping back against the booth cushions. “So that’s a yes on the impending ethics issue after all?”
“Maybe,” Anna said, muffling the affirmation in her palms.
Esme sighed and Anna felt her hands pulling Anna’s down off her face. “Well, a maybe and an almost don’t make a problem.Yet. Girly, you’re going to have to figure something out. Can you assign her to someone else?”
Anna bit her lip. “We just had a breakthrough. It would be such a bad time. Plus…” She thought about how to word it, to continue living on the correct side of the ethical line. “There’s a higher-ups issue. More I can’t say. But I feel responsible for getting her across the finish line.”
“Then you’re going to have to set aside your feelings, aren’t you?” Esme’s voice was gentle, but wry. “The most important thing is to get your mean girl healthy and happy again.”
“I know. I know.” But the scent of their mingled perfumes, the electric zing… Anna could still smell and feel it all, as if it were fresh. “I know what I have to do.”
“But it feels impossible. I know. I do.” Esme wrapped Anna’s hands in both of hers and squeezed. “When you meet the right person, the universe doesn’t give a damn about whether or not it’s convenient for you.”
“Oh, I don’t know if it’s… like that.” Anna shook her head.
“You’re in here looking for guidance from me twice in as many weeks, pumpkin. It’s at least a little like that.” Another affectionate squeeze. “You know what you need to do, Anna. It’s not going to be easy. But hey.” She let go and slid the still-sizzling skillet in front of Anna. “Eat up, drink up, and you know you can come here any time and I’ve got an ear for you. Before work, after work, whenever.” Esme slid out of the booth, then leaned over to Anna and pressed a kiss into her hair. “Be good. Stay strong. Do what’s right for you.”
