“And because you’re very, very attracted to her,” Esme pointed out over her milkshake, eyes wide with pretend innocence.
There was no use denying it, since it was why Anna was here in the first place. “Unfortunately, I think I might be, yes.”
“You do love a beautiful broken bitchy babe.” Rolling her eyes heavenward, Esme pressed her hands together as if in prayer and sighed.
“I like intelligent women with sharp tongues, yes. This one just also happens to have some issues.” Anna, too, sighed. “Which just means that in addition to being drawn to trouble, I also want to wrap the trouble in a blanket and sing her Joni Mitchell songs.”
A whistle. “Oh, girl. You’re in deep.”
“No, not yet, I think…” On the verge, she thought she might be. But not in, not yet. She looked down at the table and toyed with her silverware. “I shouldn’t… let myself.”
“No. Probably not.” Esme’s voice was soft with sympathy. Anna sat up straight and leaned back against the booth.
“I… set her off yesterday. She ran.” Picking up the butter knife, Anna passed it back and forth between her hands, relishing the feel of the heavy, cool stainless steel. “I wanted to run after her. To apologize, even though I was doing my job. Ihaveto take her apart and put her back together, and I cannot also be wanting to cuddle her, and maybe evenkiss heron top of that.”
“That would be very, very messy,” Esme agreed.
Anna groaned. “God, I’m an idiot.”
“No.” Now Esme’s voice was firm, and she reached over to tug the endlessly shifting butter knife out of Anna’s hands and set it aside so she could take them in hers again. “You’re an excellent therapist, and a lovely soul, and also, I think…” She bit her lip. “Anna, it’s… been a while, hasn’t it?”
“What do you… oh!” Anna went feverishly hot and yanked her hands away as she realized what Esme was getting at. “I mean! Yes! But also, come on! It’s not really about sex.”
“Did I say it was?” An eyeroll, and atsk. “No. I mean, in general, it’s been a while since there’s been anyone, any sort of companionship. Could this be a simple case of someone who has everything you like in a woman landing on your doorstep in a crumpled little package, at a time when maybe you’re feeling a little lonely?”
That made a certain amount of sense. She hadn’t thought about it before.
“You’re such a workaholic, really.” Esme chuckled and sipped at her milkshake. “I can’t remember the last time I saw you in here. I think it’s been years since you’ve even been on a date.” Pushing the milkshake aside, she propped her chin in one hand. “Maybe you need to find a nice girl to go out with. Or, no, I suppose it’ll have to be a mean girl…”
“I hate you so much.” Laughing, Anna crumpled up her paper napkin and hurled it across the table.
Esme dodged. “Oh, you don’t and you know it. But do you feel better?”
Surprisingly, she did. And then she remembered what she was going to have to do tomorrow and she deflated again. “I still have to go in tomorrow and report on her mental state. Which is not great.”
“Well, that’ll be a separate issue. And maybe a good reminder of why you need to set aside your cute little impending ethical problem and just concentrate on the part where you fix her.” Esme raised an eyebrow. “Hm?”
“Hm.” Anna sat with it. “I don’t know. I’ll think about it.”
“I can see about setting you up with a mean girl…”
“Okay, get out of my booth, that’s enough, you’re a menace.” But Anna was laughing again. It didn’t make her feel any betterabout tomorrow, but it was what she needed tonight, and that was good enough for now.
But the next morning, waiting outside of the conference room she had been summoned to was nervewracking. Anna felt very much as if she were being called onto the carpet for being late to school, or having been caught smoking in the bathroom. Not at all as though she were about to give a professional status report on a physician’s state of mind.
Her fingers plucked nervously at the file folder in her hand. Per their request, she had done a brief write-up of the situation, and with her conclusions thus far. She didn’t really feel comfortable with any of this, if she was being perfectly honest with herself. It felt too soon to be giving a status update. They’d had three meetings and she’d observed Victoria in action. Admittedly, of the three meetings, only one had actually used up the entire allotted hour. And during her latest observation of Victoria at work, the woman had experienced a small setback… and then Anna had lobbed a grenade into whatever mess she had going on and it had gone offspectacularly.
But for all that had happened, so much still needed to be done. She needed to formulate a treatment plan. To get to the bottom of Victoria’s real issue. Giving a status update at this stage, she felt a bit pushed.
The door opened, and Elaine Martin stuck her head out. “Won’t you come in, Dr. Monroe?”
Getting to her feet, Anna brushed a lock of hair behind her ear and put a bright smile on her face. “Of course.”
Slowly, she followed Elaine into the conference room and took a seat in front of the table where three—four, once Elainehad taken her own chair again—people were watching her. Anna picked at her cuticles.
“I’d like to thank everyone for having the time to meet today,” Elaine began. “This is an informal status meeting regarding Dr. Victoria Ellis, cardiothoracic surgeon.” She gestured to Anna. “Dr. Anna Monroe is from our Staff Wellness team here at Oakridge Hospital, and she’s been evaluating Dr. Ellis.” Elaine announced to the other persons at the table. “Dr. Monroe, you and I are acquainted of course, and you’ve met Dr. Steve Sundstrom, Chief of Surgery. I’d like you to also meet Marcus Kinkade, Director of Surgical Services, and Heather Sanders, head of Human Resources.”
She wasn’t familiar with either of them. Marcus Kinkade looked pinched, with a forehead that was a lot more smooth than his neck and thick salt-and-pepper hair and eyebrows. Heather Sanders was far younger, but equally as unamused as Marcus Kinkade, the mauve suit she wore too severe for her age, her mousy stick-straight brown hair tucked behind her ears. Anna bit her lip, then took a deep breath and kept smiling. “Terrific. Pleasure to meet you.”
