But it felt like a win when Anna set her plate aside and brushed her hands together briskly, sending crumbs flying as she said, “I have no questions for you except for this: may I make some observations?”
Even you can’t endurethatlengthy a silence, Victoria gloated internally. “Of course, Dr. Monroe.”
Anna folded her hands into her lap and focused her earnest gaze on Victoria. “I was in the gallery for a couple of your surgeries yesterday.”
She looked so guileless, and the news was delivered so calmly, yet it hit Victoria like a lightning strike. She sat straight up on the edge of her seat, ignoring how oolong tea splashed out of her cup and onto her white cashmere sweater dress. “You did what?”
Anna lifted one shoulder in a shrug. “I observed you at work.”
“That feels a bit like stalking,” Victoria remarked waspishly, clutching her cup tight to stop her hands from beginning to tremble. “What exactly gave you the right?”
“You’re my patient,” Anna began, but she stopped as soon as Victoria made a slashing gesture with her hand.
“I am not your patient. I am here very much against my will,” Victoria snapped.
Taking a deep breath in through her nose, Anna nodded. “You are under my care. I do have the right to observe you in the operating theater, as do all Oakridge staff if permission is given. Dr. Martin gave me the necessary permission. I thought it would be enlightening to see you at work.”
Unwillingly, the question slipped out from between Victoria’s lips. “And was it?”
“I think so.” Anna’s voice remained infuriatingly calm. “You really are very good at your job. Very calm, precise, methodical. Nothing rattled you at all yesterday. You were a smoothly oiled operating machine.”
This wasn’t news to Victoria. “Well, yes. I didn’t get where I am in my career by beingbadat my job.”
“I’m not surprised that you’re good at your job,” Anna said. “My observation is that you being so very contained and collected on a regular basis makes me think that your reported breakdown?—”
“It wasnota breakdown!” Victoria exclaimed. She had to set her cup aside before she threw it across the room. Her hands balled into tight fists, and her palms, still tender from the other day, began to throb again.
“What would you call it?” Anna asked. “It was uncharacteristic behavior, a deviation from what seems to be your norm. Certainly not up to your normal standards.”
“I had…” Her chest was beginning to feel tight. “It was one bad day.”
“A deviation of the degree that’s reported in here…” Anna picked up a folder and tapped on it. “And by multiple people? That speaks to me. That’s something that goes beyond one day, it’s the many days, maybe even months before. The death of Daniel Jennings wasn’t a catalyst, it was a trigger.”
“I detest these therapy buzzwords.” Victoria closed her eyes tight. “What could that even mean?”
“It means that something in your past that you haven’t dealt with got brought up when Daniel Jennings died.” Anna’s tone remained gentle and careful, but the things she was saying were landing like bricks on Victoria’s head.
“That’s absurd,” she managed to get out, even as memories began to crowd their way to the surface of her consciousness. Memories that went back long beyond the unfortunate death of Daniel Jennings.
“Is it?” Anna tilted her head, the compassion in her gaze almost too much to bear. “Dr. Ellis, I can see by the way you dress that you are a woman who tends to her appearance with care.”
“Of course I am.”
“Which is why it baffles me that you don’t seem to see the signs of trouble in yourself when you look in the mirror.” Anna swallowed, and for once, it appeared her self-assurance was deserting her for a brief second. Then she rallied. “I look at you and I see a beautiful, capable woman who is suffering. Who has purple circles under her eyes. Who is wearing an incredible dress that seems like it must have fit well at one point but is hanging off of her now.”
Victoria looked down at her Moncler dress. “I…”
“You belted it, but that belt is on its last hole and it’s still too big.” The litany was delivered with kindness, but was also relentless and matter of fact. “Your watch is gorgeous, but very loose; I’d be concerned that it’s going to fall off.”
Indeed, the delicate golden links of her watch did seem to be dangling off of her wrist. Victoria blinked. She would have to get a jeweler to help her sort that.
In the next moment, a panicked fury flashbanged through her and she leaped to her feet. “I don’t appreciate your… analysis, Dr. Monroe.”
“Observations,” Anna corrected, and that just stoked the flames of Victoria’s temper higher. “Observations that tell me something has been very very wrong, for a very long time. Much longer than just a few days.”
“No, that’s not… I don’t…” Victoria shook her head, one short, sharp movement. “I don’t appreciate you stalking me. I feel cornered and manipulated and… and…” She didn’t know what else to say. She only knew that this little dumpling of a therapist coated in chintz and croissant crumbs was getting much too close to something Victoria could manage just fine on her own. She needed time, that was all. Not someone meddling, manipulating, messing her about.
Anna, too, was standing by now. “I appreciate you being honest with your feelings, though I would like to point out again that I am simply observing you, Dr. Ellis. I am honestly telling you what I see.”
