Disbelief, fear, wonder, exhaustion, all of it churning together until I can't separate one from the next.
But above all else, joy.
Then I look at Beau and smile. A real one, tired, lopsided, and slightly dazed, but real.
"We're going to be parents."
The tension in his face cracks, and whatever’s underneath makes my throat ache. I think maybe he’s happy about it too.
"And you're going to be a great dad. I just know it."
33
BEAU
Her house is dark except for a single porch light glowing yellow when we pull into the driveway. Absently, I make a mental note to add more security lighting. It might be a quiet town most of the time, but she’s isolated out here, vulnerable, and I need to know she’s safe.
Lisa unbuckles her seatbelt then folds the printout carefully before sliding it into her inside jacket pocket. She sits for a moment, staring at the front door, then after giving me an odd look, reaches for the handle and jumps out.
Unsure how to behave, my mind is still blown by the fact that the woman beside me is carrying my child, a piece of me and her, inside her.
And she thinks I’ll be a great father.
Which is fantastic except I want to be more than just a father to our child, I want us to be a family. And I’m going to make it happen, eventually, even if it means being patient and not pushing for what I really want immediately.
I walk her up the path. The garden is overgrown, the grass long, and there’s a pair of muddy boots abandoned by the step.
She fumbles with her keys, hands shaky, and swears under her breath. When she fails to get the door open on the second attempt, I rest my hand over hers and quietly take the key, then slide it into the lock and turn it.
“Thank you,” she whispers, taking an unsteady breath and pushing the bright red door wide. The hall light flickers on, and warm air pushes out into the cold, carrying the scent of her home with it.
My bear inhales, loving the layered perfume of her. The rumble that starts in my chest is so loud, she glances back at me.
“Something wrong?” She kicks off her shoes and hangs up her jacket, careful to remove the ultrasound image first and slide it against the glass of a picture frame on her table.
“No, I just…” I take another deep inhale and close my eyes. “You’ve lived here all your life. Your scent is so strong.”
It’s intoxicating. When I open my eyes again, she’s stepped further inside, but I stay on the doorstep, one hand on the frame.
"Are you coming in?" Head tilted, she watches me, and it feels like this is a test. One I really want to pass.
I just don’t know what the right answer is.
"Am I? I’d love to, but I thought you might want some space."
The last couple of days have been tough, and Lisa’s had to deal with a lot. She’s just found out she’s pregnant, and having a baby with a man she barely knows, who as it turns out, can transform into a deadly, albeit furry and devoted, apex predator. As well as being shot at and finding the missing woman she’s been tracking for months.
I couldn’t blame her if all she wanted was to lie in a cool, dark room and shut out the world.
She gives me a curious smile. "So, if I say no, that I need some time to myself, where are you going to go?"
My stomach drops. Does she want me to leave?
Rubbing the back of my neck, I make myself look at her and tell her the truth. Because even if she doesn’t like the answer, she deserves to know what she’s dealing with here. And who I really am, deep down.
"To the treeline at the back of your property. I was going to shift and sleep out there.” I shrug and press my lips together. “There are some pine trees out there and lots of moss. It’s nice and cosy.”
Lisa is very still in her doorway. “How do you know that?”
