As he slid into bed, she wondered if it was possible to ever get used to the feel of a naked man beside her, the tingly feeling of skin touching skin from head to foot. He pulled her into his arms and let her rest there, her head against his chest. She loved this part. She could lie with him like this forever.
She sighed—and immediately wished she had not. William took it as a sign he should begin what they were here for.
Damn that Edmund. It was so confusing! She let William touch her in all the ways he wanted. She refused him nothing. Yet, tonight she felt a tension, an expectation. William wanted something from her, but she did not know what it was.
William rolled on top of her, his weight on his elbows, and began kissing her face and neck. The warmth of his mouth and breath felt good on her skin. Should she tell him? But she remembered Rayburn slapping her so hard she saw stars when she had interrupted his efforts. And so she kept quiet.
“I cannot do it!” William said, pounding his fists against the mattress. Abruptly, he rolled off her.
Her shock was so great that at first she could do nothing. After a few moments of tense silence, she raised herself onto her elbow to look at him. He lay with his arms crossed over his face, as if warding off an attacker.
“William?” She touched his arm with her fingertip.
He rolled away from her and pounded his fist against the mattress again.
God help her, what could she have done to cause him to behave like this?
Sitting up, she gripped his shoulder and shook him. “William, what is it? What have I done?”
When he still did not answer, she used all her weight to pull him onto his back to face her.
“You must tell me, please,” she pleaded, but he kept his arms over his face, unable or unwilling to speak to her. “Whatever it is, I am sorry with all my heart.”
She ran her fingers over the side of his face, but he rolled away from her again. Pressing herself against his back, she rubbed her hands up and down his sides and kissed his neck and shoulders, attempting to comfort him. Still, he made no response. Desperate, she crawled over him and wriggled under his arm until she was burrowed against his chest.
She put her arm around his waist and patted his back. “It is all right. I am here,” she murmured, just as she would with Jamie.
He took a long shuddering breath. She felt the tension of his muscles ease beneath her hands.
“I do not know why I displease you so much,” she said against his chest. “You must tell me what I can do to remedy it.”
William put his hand to her cheek and gave her a small smile that eased her heart. “I have wanted you to put your arms around me, and it feels as good as I imagined.”
She blinked at him. “Is that all you require?”
“Nay, ’tis not all, but it is a start.” His smile was slightly wider now.
“What else?”
“I want you to kiss me.”
This, too, seemed a fairly simple task. She touched her lips to his, then looked at him expectantly.
“That is nice, but not quite what I want. Will you let me teach you how lovers kiss?” His smile had reached his eyes and was positively wicked now.
Her confidence faltered. She felt out of her depth, but she nodded. She wanted to please him.
His lips were soft and warm, and he kept them on hers for a long time. When she thought he was finally finished, he ran his tongue across her bottom lip. It was hard to breathe, and she opened her mouth. When he slipped his tongue inside, she gasped.
The next time, she knew what to expect and opened her mouth to him. She had trouble thinking of anything except the kiss this time, though it went on even longer.
He pulled back to look into her eyes. “I don’t want you to leave me this time.”
She swallowed back the surge of hurt rising from her chest. Why would he bring that up now? She dropped her gaze to his chest and said, “I promised you I would not run away again.”
“That is not what I mean.” With a sigh, he pushed a strand of hair from her forehead. “When I take you to bed, you let me have your body, but your mind and spirit are elsewhere.”
He lifted her chin with his finger. “I do not want to have you like that anymore, Kate. I want you with me. All of you.”
