“I wish I could say it is only because I don’t want to take your attention from her,” she said. “But the truth is that she’s far too pretty, too lively, too sweet.”
“Sweet? She cares nothing about the welfare of my clan. She frets about silly things.”
“Jane is just young,” Ilysa said.
“She is the same age as you are.”
“She hasn’t had responsibilities and doesn’t know any better, but she will learn,” Ilysa said. “Ye will love her in time.”
That was what had finally convinced her she must go. She could neither bear to be the reason Connor did not fall in love with his wife, nor watch him fall in love with her.
“I’ve told ye that no one else will ever have my heart,” he said.
“I can’t share ye.I just can’t do it.” Ilysa briskly re-braided her hair out of habit and to calm herself. “I want something of my own. A home, a family, a husband.”
Connor got out of bed and clasped his hands around hers.
“We can have children,” he said. “Your sons will have chieftain’s blood, and the same chance to be chosen chieftain as my other sons.”
“Isn’t that precisely what ye feared?” She looked away from him so he would not see the tears that threatened to spill from her eyes.
“That doesn’t matter to me now, and it’s too late anyway,” he said. “Ye could be carrying my child already.”
“I’m not.” At least, there was no sign of it yet. “I’m a healer. I would know.”
“But Iwantto have children with you,” Connor said.
She closed her eyes against the answering surge of longing in her heart. How she would love to have Connor’s children, to have a son with his fine looks and stalwart heart. But that was not to be.
“While we were at the gathering, I had an offer of marriage,” Ilysa said. “I plan to take it.”
Connor straightened and stared at her. She tried not to be insulted or hurt that he was so shocked, but she was.
***
Connor felt as if he had been kicked in the stomach.
“Ye didn’t mention it before,” he said through his teeth. “Who is he?”
“I know ye thought no chieftain would want to wed me because I’m not important enough,” she began.
“I never said ye were not important—you’re everything to me,” Connor said, wondering if she were deliberately misunderstanding him. “I only meant that ye don’t bring a clan’s power and warriors to a marriage.”
“Regardless of all I lack,” Ilysa said, “the MacNeil chieftain said he wants to wed me.”
“Glynis’s father?” Connor said. “Ye can’t want to marry him. Why, he’s an old man.”
“He’s not old,” she said. “He’s a fine man, and I like him.”
“He has all those children, that’s why he asked ye,” Connor said, raising his arms. “He wants a wife to mother his children.”
Ilysa turned and fixed her direct gaze on him. “Is that the only reason ye believe a man would want me for his wife?”
“Of course not, but he doesn’t love ye as I do.” He tried pulling her into his arms, but she pushed him away.
“Mothering his children appeals to me,” she said. “I like children. Perhaps we’ll be blessed with more. I know that would please him as well as me.”
The thought of Ilysa having any man’s child but his made Connor feel physically ill.
