My cheeks flush and I hide my face in the soft fabric of Theo’s shirt while wishing for a hole to open up and swallow me whole. None does, so I’m left cuddled up to him as my cheeks burn with mortification.
“I’m going to take that as a yes.” His chest vibrates as he chuckles and cups the back of my head with a large, warm hand. “There’s nothing to be embarrassed about, baby.”
I shake my head. “There is,” I mumble, my words obscured by the fabric of his shirt. Rhys, the grumpy asshole, has seen my ‘O’ face. Hewatched as I orgasmed on his orders. I’m never going to live that down. Maybe I can just hide here until we need the execute the plan tonight so I don’t have to see Rhys or Alex.
Oh God,Alex…
A tidal wave of guilt sweeps away my mortification. I told Alex that we can only be friends, that whatever was developing between us should stop. And yet, not only did I kiss Theo, I begged him to make me come while Rhys watched. That’s so far out of the friend-zone it’s in a different fucking universe.
“I’m such a shitty person,” I groan. “We shouldn’t have done what we did.”
“What? Where did that come from?” Theo asks, confused.
I don’t reply. I’m too busy throwing myself a pity party.
“Ollie, talk to me.” He tugs at my hair, trying to pry my face away from his chest, but I resist. He sighs, grabs either side of my head and wrenches my head upward, forcing me to meet his silver eyes. “Ollie…”
I scowl at him. “What did we last night shouldn’t have happened and itcan’thappen again.”
His brow furrows. “What? Didn’t you enjoy it?”
Oh, I more than enjoyed it. “That’s not the point. I told Alex I only wanted to be friends and yet a day later, I’m throwing myself at one of his best friends!”
Theo sighs, tightens his hold on my face and pins me with a serious expression. “Ollie, I need you to listen to me. Nothing we did last night was wrong.”
I try to shake my head, but his hold on my head stops themovement. “But—”
“No, let me finish,” he says, cutting me off. He stares down at me with a sternness that would put Rhys to shame. “You are an independent woman who’s free to decide what you do with your body as long as everyone consents—which we all did. While Alex and I told you about our romantic intentions towards you, none of us are in a relationship. You don’t owe anyoneanything; not me, Alex or Rhys. Do you understand?”
On the one hand, he’s right; none of us are in an established relationship and none of them have the right to tell me what I do with my body. But it’s not that simple. Not when it comes to these men and matters of the heart. Our feelings are too entwined with one another, regardless of how much I’ve tried to distance myself.
“It’s not that simple.” I close my eyes and sigh. I’ve made such a fucking mess of this. “What we did last night could hurt Alex, and that’s thelastthing I want to do. I don’t want to be like your ex.”
“You’re nothing like our ex,” Theo says vehemently. “What she did was bulldoze through established boundaries without a single care given to how it would affect anyone but herself.You didn’t do that.”
“But Alex—”
“Is a big boy who is the one in control of his emotions, not you. And sharing a few kisses—as hot as they may have been—doesn’t mean—”
“I may have also watched him jerk off,” I mumble, my cheeks burning as images of that night flash through my mind.
Theo chokes on a breath. “You—what?”
“It was the night we spent at the Lodge.” I shrug, trying to appear casual, even though I’m sure my cheeks and neck are bright red.
He blinks. “That exhibitionist bastard. No wonder he was stark fucking naked and smug as hell the next morning.” He shakes his head, a wrysmile on his lips, but he quickly sobers. “Regardless of what’s happened between you two, none of that equates to an established relationship. If anything, you’ve made it clear youdon’twant one.”
“Sure, but that doesn’t change the fact that what we did will hurt him.” Just the thought of causing Alex pain is like a sucker punch to the stomach.
Theo sighs and slides one hand around to cup the back of my head while his thumb strokes my cheek. “I won’t lie to you; this will probably hurt him.” I wince, but he forges onward before I can speak. “But I think this is what he needs to get his stubborn head out of his ass and see how good all four of us will be together.”
I shake my head. “We both know that’s not going to happen.”
“And why not?” He arches an eyebrow at me.
“You know why. Alex has made his intentionsveryclear and Rhys isn’t even in the picture.”
“You still think that about Rhys? Even after last night?”
