She shrugs off my hand. “We have nothing to talk about.”
I cock an eyebrow at her and stare down at her. “Now we both know that’s a lie.”
Her cheeks flush, no doubt her mind replaying what happened last night, and she bites her lower lip. She glances to where Harlow lies beside Bean with Ketchup perched on the saddle and then to the side door of the warehouse where Rhys and Theo disappeared about fifteen minutes ago.
With a sigh, she relents. “Fine, but make itquick.”
Not as enthusiastic as I’d like, but I’ll take it. “I meant what I said last night; I want more than friendship, and I’m going to do whatever I can to convince you it’ll work between us.” I take a step toward her.
Her eyes widen and she steps away, her back hitting the brick exterior of the warehouse. “And I told you last night that this isn’t a good idea. We won’t work and it’ll only end in heartbreak.”
“What makes you so sure of that?”
“Because it won’t.” Her voice sounds so small, so defeated, and all I want to do is ball her up into my arms and hug her until all that sadness is gone.
Something obviously happened in her past to convince her that all relationships are doomed to fail and I have a feeling that Ethan the wanker is part of it. Even thinking of how he spoke about her is enough to have my blood boiling with rage. We were too kind to him. We should have smashed his face in before letting him run away from us. But there’s nothing I can do about him, and right now Ollie needs me more.
I reach up and brush a strand of her chestnut hair from her cheek, shocked by how soft her skin is against my rough, calloused fingers. “What are you so afraid of happening?” I ask softly.
She closes her eyes and sighs heavily. “Everything.” Opening her eyes, she stares up at me, her irises gleaming like emeralds in the afternoon sun. “I won’t survive my heart breaking again, Alex.”
“What if I promise never to break it?”
She shakes her head. “You can’t do that, not when you barely know me.” Her forehead furrows, the pain clear on her face. “Everyone always leaves me.”
I want to kill the people that hurt this wonderful woman’s heart enough that she’s terrified of being left again. I want to make them bleed and suffer just like they made her suffer.
Just like your father, an insidious voice whispers in the back of my mind, making me flinch with horror.
Unfortunately, Ollie misinterprets my action. Her eyes shutter and her face turns into a blank mask. “I knew you’d understand,” she says in a painfully neutral voice as she goes to slip away from me.
Fuck!I need to fix this now, otherwise I’ll never get another chance. I just know it.
“Ollie, sweetheart, I can promise you that there isnothingyou can do or say that will ever make me want to leave you.” I don’t care that I’m reduced to pleading with her. It’s important she knows that people leaving her isn’t her fault, that they never deserved her.
She just stares at me, not looking convinced at all.
I sigh. I’m quickly realising that the only way I’m going to get Ollie to trust me is to lay myself bare to her. Maybe then she’ll open up to me. “It wasn’t anything you said—well, it was—but I was just thinking about those people who’ve caused you pain in your past and how I want them to hurt like they hurt you. And that reminded me of my father…” I trail off and swallow hard.
The only people who know just what a piece of shit my sperm donor was are Rhys, Theo, and my therapist. “My father was abusive. He blamed me for killing my mum when I was born, and he’d often take his frustration out on me or his wives.”
It was a relief when he finally gave up trying to pretend to be a parent to me and allowed me to board at school. Sure, holidays were torture, but dealing with him for only a few months of the year was a milliontimes better than having him beat me almost daily. Even now my back still harbours some scars from his ‘parenting’, although I allow everyone to think they’re from rugby.
“Is that what you think?” Ollie asks quietly, breaking me from my thoughts. “That you’re like him?”
I shrug. “Sometimes it crosses my mind, especially when I get angry and lose control. You’ve seen the damage I can do with my fists when I attacked the guy that was on top of you when we first met, and I wasn’t even pissed off.” Just the thought of losing control is enough to make bile burn my throat.
Ollie grabs my hand and squeezes as she gazes up at me, her eyes shining with understanding. “While I’ve only known you for a short time, I can say with certainty that you arenothinglike that monster. You’re sweet, sensitive and caring. I’ve never felt unsafe around you, not even when I first met you. And I’m sure if you were anything like your dad, Rhys and Theo wouldn’t be like brothers to you.”
My brows furrow. While she sounds genuine, it’s hard to let go of the lingering fear that one day I’ll end up just like him; bitter and angry. At least I no longer think I deserved his abuse—that took several years of therapy to get rid of.
“Alex, listen to me,” she says sharply. Gone is the hollowness and neutrality her voice had before. “You aren’t a monster. There’s not a bad bone in your body.” She reaches up and places a hand on my cheek, her palm warm against my skin. “If there was, I wouldn’t do this…”
Before I can ask what ‘this’ is, she stands on her tiptoes, grabs the back of my head, and pulls me down to press her lips against mine.
Electricity rushes straight to my chest and then down to my cock as her soft, feminine body presses against mine.Fuck. She feels like heavenand so much better than I imagined. A groan rumbles in my chest as I move my lips against her plush ones while threading my hand through the hair at the base of her skull, not caring that I’m messing up her braid.
She sighs into my mouth, her lips parting and giving me the chance to twine my tongue with hers. Her body shudders and while one hand stays on my cheek, the other grasps my shoulder. The bite of her nails into my skin only adds to the pleasure humming through my veins as I imagine her marking me with little half-moons.
