I glare down at him. “Let go of the reins,” I bite out through clenched teeth.
His hands tighten on the leather and his eyes narrow. “Not until you tell us what the hell is going on with you.”
I shake my head. “I just told you, I don’t sleep in cars.” No way in fuck am I going to tell these guys the truth; that I’ll have panic attack after panic attack until I’m nothing more than a whimpering, crying mess and not in the fun way. They don’t need to know about my personal shit, about the horrific accident that stole my parents and my childhood allat once. Or the shitshow that was my wedding day and the start of the apocalypse.
“Ollie…” Rhys sighs as his face softens with understanding, and I just know that he suspects something. Can he see the fear in my eyes? The trauma that sits heavily on my chest?
I harden my gaze. “It’s none of your business,” I snarl as embarrassment and anger war within me. I feel raw, like an exposed nerve, and it makes me want to lash out and push them away. “Now let go of the fucking reins.”
He shakes his head but drops his hands. “Guess we’re continuing on and hoping we find something.”
I nod and nudge Bean forward, not daring to look behind me at the guys. I don’t want to see the pity on their faces or the knowing glances between them. Instead, I force myself to keep my attention forward as I hear their footsteps following.
Guilt gnaws at my insides. Am I leading these men to their deaths because of my trauma? I dismiss that thought. They’re grown ass men, they make their own choices. They’re more than welcome to sleep in cars; I just won’t be joining them.
But dammit if I don’t love the fact that they refuse to leave me to fend for myself. That even though I’m being a stubborn bitch, they’re still treating me as a member of the team.
We walk for abouthalf an hour as the sun dips dangerously low on the horizon. Time is running out and we’ve found no buildings at all.
My stomach is a tight knot of fear, dread, and guilt. I hate that I can’t bring myself to sleep in a car for the night and that I’ve put the three men with me in danger. I hate that I care about what happens to them. The guys are all wearing identical grim expressions and any minute now, Rhys is going to announce that we should stop and find shelter in a car. That’ll be the moment this small team of ours breaks.
But as the minutes tick by, he doesn’t do that. We simply keep going, each step feeling like we’re marching toward our funerals.
Even the animals are picking up on our moods. Bean tenses beneath me and Harlow clamps her tail between her legs and pins her ears back. Ketchup, who’s usually a vocal drama queen, stays silent as she perches on the saddle in front of me.
Fuck. There has to besomewhereout here for us to shelter in. I’ll take anything; a cow shed, a barn, a rickety old cottage. Hell, even a fucking gardening shed. Justanythingbut a car. But somehow we’ve found ourselves in the most rural part of the motorway because there’snothing. Not even in the distance, although it’s hard to see through the dense overgrown foliage that borders the road.
More minutes tick by and the sky is darkening by the second. The stars have made their appearance, twinkling in the sky next to a crescent moon. It’d be beautiful if they didn’t harbour our deaths at the hands of zombies. I’m losing hope and dread and fear coils tighter in my stomach until I’m sure I’m going to be sick.
And then I see it. A sign.
No, like an actual,literalsign.
It’s nothing much, just a spray painted bit of metal that lies on the side of the motorway. But it’s our salvation because on it readsThe Lodgewith an arrow pointing down the motorway. There’s no way the Scourgewould put up signs advertising their own camps, right? Surely this is a place we can spend the night. Fuck, I hope so because I don’t fancy my chances out here and I don’t want to be responsible for the guys’ deaths.
Rhys spots the sign at the same time I do, and his eyes widen. “Shit. We’re further along the motorway than I thought.”
I glance at him in confusion. “You’ve heard of this place?”Please tell me it’s somewhere safe.
He nods as the other two stare at the sign. “Yeah, we’ve traded with them before.” The guys all look at one another and I just know they’re having a silent conversation with each other.
Finally, Theo nods. “They’re not bad people. Some of them are questionable, but Mark’s a good guy.”
Alex inclines his head toward me. “One of us should be with her at all times.”
“Agreed,” Rhys answers with a nod.
“You do realise that I’m right here, able to listen to what you’re saying, right?” I grumble with a scowl. “You want to fill me in?”
Alex, at least, has the decency to look apologetic while Theo just smirks and Rhys shrugs.
“Fine. The Lodge is a safe place to spend the night, but you’ll need to be with one of us at all times,” Rhys says in a stern, brooks no argument voice as he gives me a hard look. “I mean it, Ollie. No wandering off by yourself.”
I roll my eyes. “You make it seem like I don’t care about my safety.”
He shoots me a deadpan look. “After what’s happened since we met, I’m not so sure.”
I glareat him.Prick.
