"Worth it." He pulls me closer, ignoring the way his body protests. "Kept the club together. That's all that matters."
I don't agree but I don't argue. Instead I kiss him again, deeper this time, trying to pour everything I feel into it. All the fear and anger and desperate love I can't quite articulate.
"Stay in bed with me," he murmurs against my mouth. "Just for a little while. Before the world intrudes."
"Okay." I settle against his side, careful of his injuries. His arm comes around me, holding me close. We lie there in comfortable silence for several minutes, just breathing together.
"I meant what I said yesterday," he says finally. "I love you. In case you thought it was just the pain talking."
My throat tightens. "I know. I love you too."
"Yeah?" He sounds almost surprised, like he wasn't sure.
"Yeah." I tilt my head to look at him. "I've loved you for a while now. Just didn't know how to say it."
His hand traces patterns on my arm. "Say it again."
"I love you, Xavier King." The words come easier this time. "Even when you're being a stubborn idiot who nearly kills himself to prove a point."
He laughs, the sound low and warm. "Especially when I'm being a stubborn idiot."
"Especially then," I agree, smiling despite everything.
We fall back into silence but it's charged now, weighted with things we haven't said yet. Things we need to address before they explode.
"We should probably talk," I say carefully. "About... us. About what this is."
His hand stills on my arm. "What do you want it to be?"
"I don't know." I sit up, pulling away slightly so I can see his face properly. "I just know I can't lose you. Can't imagine my life without you in it."
"You're not going to lose me," he says firmly, echoing my words from yesterday. "I'm right here. Not going anywhere."
"But what does that mean?" I press. "What are we, Xavier? Because I need to know. Need to understand what this is before?—"
"Before what?" His eyes narrow slightly. "Before you have to choose?"
The word hits like a slap. "I?—"
"It's Zay and Asher, isn't it?" He's not angry exactly, but there's something sharp in his voice. "You have feelings for them too."
I can't lie to him. Not about this. "Yes."
He's quiet for a long moment, jaw working as he processes this. "How long?"
"I don't know. It's different with each of you." I twist my hands together, anxious. "Zay—it's been building since the beginning.The way he looks at me, the way he knows me. And Asher—" I stop, not sure how to explain it.
"Asher sees through you," Xavier finishes quietly. "Sees all the parts you try to hide."
"Yeah." I look down at my hands. "I'm sorry. I know this isn't—I know you probably want?—"
"Stop." He catches my chin, makes me look at him. "Tell me what you want. Not what you think I want to hear. What do you actually want, Val?"
The question hangs between us. I take a breath, gather my courage.
"I want all of you," I admit in a rush. "I know that's selfish and complicated and probably impossible, but I can't imagine choosing. Can't imagine losing any of you. It would hurt too much. I'm in love with Zay and Asher too, and I—" I stop, waiting for him to pull away, to get angry, to tell me to leave.
But he doesn't.
