Ciana sprinted from the archives, not even stopping to consider it might be the last time she’d be welcomed inside.
She was desperate. Not to make her queen happy.
But for the one person who could make the painful nightmares swarming her mind go away.
Chapter 54
Sebastian paced a track in Ciana’s room, the twinkling lights in the branches above his head laughing at him.
He’d felt sick when Ciana left to meet the king. Something was different this time. He didn’t know exactly what, but he had a feeling. One that he refused to think about.
He also refused to think about where Ciana was right at that moment. What she might be doing. What that king might be doing with her.
Sebastian swallowed the frustrated groan that threatened to crawl out of his chest. He sat heavily on the edge of her bed, the sheets still rumpled from the night before. Her honeysuckle scent lingered everywhere, a beautiful gift and a wicked curse.
Everything was all made worse by whatever it was that had passed between them before the king had summoned her. That tension, that energy, that sweet serenity. It made his heart ache, pressing firmly against the cage of his ribs.
Sebastian was so tired of fighting. The weariness of it weighed on his bones, tugging down his strength. He thought he could keep her at arms-length, that he could do his duty and not let his heart get in the way.
It wasn’t just because of Ciana’s task. This was something that had plagued him long before. Because Sebastian knew, in the deepest part of his mind, that if they crossed that line, there would be no going back.
Sure, he’d kissed her before. It was something he thought about every day and dreamed of every night. But that had been a shared moment when they weren’t sure if they’d see each other again. A moment of soft desperation when they’d both lowered their walls.
Now? After all they’d gone through since? Gods, everything was different now.
And yet Sebastian couldn’t help but wonder if that was just a lie he told himself to keep from tumbling into madness.
How much longer would he let his fear of losing her keep him from happiness?
He shook his head. These thoughts were pointless and would only lead to pain. Especially being here, in a foreign kingdom, while she set out to woo a king?—
The door slammed open.
Ciana flew inside with the force of a gale, stirring the leaves above them, the lights tinkling together. The door shut on her heels and she ground to a halt in the middle of the room, her amber eyes finding his.
Tears streaked down her beautiful, freckled face. Her hair was a wild mass of gold around her head.
Something in her expression cracked.
He stood as she rushed forward, slamming into his chest. His arms came around her, as instinctual to him as breathing, and he held her as she cried.
She sobbed, her breaths coming in deep, hiccupping fits. The front of his cotton shirt was soon wet with her tears.
He didn’t care.
He sat slowly on the edge of her bed, pulling her with him. She folded against him easily, so soft and warm and small, settling onto his lap.
Sebastian wasn’t sure how long they stayed like that. The world around him stood still, this moment in time paused on an inhalation of breath. His fingers traced soothing patterns across her skin, and he swam through a sea of lilac and honeysuckle.
He quietly vowed into the silence that no matter what came of this between them, he would always bethisfor her. A haven. A place of refuge. He would gladly condemn his very soul to save hers, if that’s what it took.
He wasn’t sure how long they sat there when her breathing started to slow. Her sobs faded into soft sniffles, her tears drying into hazy droplets. She lifted her face from his chest, tilting her chin up to meet his gaze. Her wild hair clung to her cheeks, eyes wide and raw.
Sebastian swept his fingers across her temple, tucking the unruly strands behind her ears. Her eyes fluttered at his touch, his chest squeezing in answer.
“What happened, Cee?” he asked softly, quietly, breathlessly. Knowing he needed the answer, but also that he would hate to hear it.
Ciana’s bottom lip quivered. She hiccupped again, hastily wiping a hand across her eyes, smearing her tears.
