Ciana shifted in her saddle. Something like solid steel crept into her amber eyes. “Now that we’re in Vatha,” she said, “I need to tell you what Mariah has asked of me here.”
Confusion licked through Sebastian. “What do you mean?” he said. He tightened a muscle in his jaw. “Does this have to do with what Quentin said earlier? About the king?”
Ciana glanced at him, a blush staining high on her cheeks. “It does,” she murmured. She straightened her shoulders. “The Vathan’s guard their archives close. Only those they trust are permitted access.”
“Yes,” Sebastian said. “We’re aware of that. But what does that have to do with you?”
Ciana swallowed. “Mariah has asked me to…get close to the king. To become someone he trusts enough to be granted access to the archives.” She hesitated, fingers fidgeting with her reins.“She also told me that the king is unmarried and interested in courting.”
Something dropped in Sebastian’s stomach.
His throat, maybe? Or his heart?
“What do you mean.” This time, it wasn’t a question. It was a growled statement.
How could Mariah ask this of her? His queen knew Ciana’s past, knew all the ways she’d been used and hurt and torn apart.
Ciana’s stare turned biting. “You know exactly what I mean, Sebastian.”
“So, you’re telling me,” Sebastian said slowly, fighting to keep his voice steady, “that Mariah sent you here not only to get into the Vathan Archives, but to do so by courting the gods-damned king?”
“Yes.”
“And youagreedto this?” He couldn’t keep the incredulity out of his voice. It was insanity, truly. What were any of them thinking?
“I did.” Ciana’s words were like rigid metal. “I’m ready, Sebastian. I can do this. I know I can.”
Something about the firmness in her tone made him pause. She sat straight in her saddle, her eyes locked on his. Her grip on her reins was tight, but she looked resolved. He could find no trace or flicker of fear or uncertainty on her—no flash of terror that would rear its ugly head.
He was still angry. Still fuming at the callousness of Mariah’s request. But maybe Ciana reallydidfeel ready.
She’d placed so much trust in him. Didn’t he owe it to her to at least try to do the same?
Sebastian drew in a deep breath, holding it in his lungs for a long moment before releasing it through his teeth.
“Okay,” he said. “Then just answer one more question.”
She cocked her head, waiting.
“Is this whatyouwant to do?” he asked quietly. “Forget Mariah, forget our task, forget the war and the gods. Forget all of it. I want to know fromyou, Ciana.” Her lips parted at her name. “Doyouchoose this?”
She was silent for a moment, and in that space, Sebastian allowed himself to hope that she would say no.
If she did, he would turn them around right now without another word. They would return to Kreah empty-handed, and if Mariah wanted access to the archives so badly, she could go herself.
“Yes.” Ciana’s response was filled with resolve, squashing the last of Sebastian’s blooming hope as quickly as it had blossomed. “I choose this.” Her expression softened. “But I can only do it with you by my side.”
Sebastian sighed—a heavy, wanton exhalation. He was a good man, he reminded himself. Mariah had sent him with her to be her guard, even though she’d withheld the full scope of their task from him.
He had to trust Ciana. She deserved that much from him. If it meant putting aside his own selfish desires, then so be it.
This sort of thing is what motivated him. This was who he was. This was who he would always be.
Wasn’t it?
“I’ll always be by your side, Cee. You never have to worry about that.”
Ahead of them, Quentin pulled the wagon to a halt. “Oi, Sebastian!”
