“Take it, Andrian,” she gasped.
His fingers slowed, still working her up but not as fast. “What?”
She struggled against his grip, winding her fingers through his. “The pain. Take it from me. Take itall.”
Her orgasm washed over her in a wave of splendor, the first true ray of light she’d felt since the day darkness burst from the ground.
Slowly, it faded, her vision dimming as her chest still heaved. She returned to the dim tent, lit only by the oil lamp flickering in the far corner. A soft, contented smile spread across her face.
Until the cold hit her.
She shivered, opening her eyes. Andrian was no longer there. His hands had left her, his body no longer hovering over hers. Instead, he knelt beside her, palms open in his lap, hair in disarray.
But his face…
Pain and utter despair were written across that too handsome, perfect face. Like he’d just been dragged through shards of glass then tossed into the jaws of his worst nightmare.
Mariah sat up, heat emptying from her veins as alarm thrummed through her. “Andrian? Are you okay?”
He lifted his gaze to her, eyes unfocused. “Is this…” He swallowed. “Is this real? Would you tell me?”
Mariah reached for him but drew back when he flinched. “Of course, it’s real,” she said softly. A deep, foreign hurt twisted around her heart. She glanced at the furs, still indented with their bodies, and swallowed again. She picked up her tunic and slipped it back over her head.
“Let’s just get some sleep, okay?” She felt like she was speaking to a wounded child, not a man who’d just held her down and made her come so hard she’d felt her magic stir.
What had happened to him? Where had he gone there at the end? And what had been the trigger?
Even then, she knew. Rage bubbled up inside her, deep and seething and animalistic. And just like her magic had stirred for the first time, the beast buried deep within lazily opened an eye.
What thefuckhad Kol done to him?
Andrian nodded to her slowly, and her rage cooled a touch. Some of the tension dropped from his shoulders, hair falling again into his eyes. She returned the nod and stood, slipping off her leathers until she was clothed only in the oversized tunic she preferred to wear to sleep. She settled back onto the bedroll, tentatively patting the space beside her.
Slowly, Andrian unfurled himself, stretching out beside her. He seemed so hesitant to touch her, but after a moment his arms wrapped around her, pulling her into him as his face burrowed into her neck.
“I’m sorry,” he whispered. “I’m sorry. I can’t…” He squeezed her tighter, as if afraid she would disappear from his grasp.
Mariah didn’t ask what he meant.
Chapter 32
He was so fuckingweak.
Andrian suppressed a groan, pushing a hand through his hair. He stumbled a step, his boot catching on a stone in the overgrown road. A muscle tensed in his jaw as he fought to control his frustration.
Frustration athimself.
He’d felt like this all day. Even as he’d lain awake the night before, trying not to move or breathe or do anything to fuck things up further than he already had.
Mariah had fallen asleep quickly in his arms. He knew she was frustrated with him. Even though their bond was silent, he felt her simmering annoyance bubbling beneath her skin.
If only she knew how much danger she was in, just because he couldn’t stay away.
All he could think about was how it had been too easy. Everything had been effortless and convenient. Escaping a heavily guarded castle undetected, Cielle finding him in the woods, Kodie crossing his path and making his journey north less arduous than it would’ve been. How Mariah herself had somehow been waiting in just the right place for him to find her.
It made him queasy, like he was sitting on the edge of a cliff and waiting for a gentle breeze to push him over.
Anniliese’s last words to him—that she wanted to convince him not to leave—didn’t ease his terror. A deep, dark instinct whispered to him that he might have just done exactly what Kol wanted, even if he couldn’t see how it would play out for the god in the end.
