Mason’scalledintosurgerythe next morning, so I keep myself busy on the ward, making rounds and reviewing charts that don’t need checking.
I need the distraction.
My phone buzzes in my pocket, pulling me out of my head.An unknown number, again.
I step away from the nurses’ station to answer it.“Hello?”
A woman’s voice comes through, calm and polite.“Hi, this is Janine from the New York City Hospital HR department.”
My heart stutters.What?I grip the phone tighter, shifting my weight as my brain tries to catch up.“Uh, hi...”
“We were wondering if you'd be interested in finishing your residency here with us,” she says.“One of our residents had to begin maternity leave unexpectedly early, and we're suddenly down a person.”
I blink at the glass doors across the ward, not seeing anything as my heart clenches.“I-I’m not supposed to start for another few months.”
“Yes, and we understand that.But given your prior acceptance and how highly your name came up in department meetings, we thought we'd check.Would you be open to it?”
Am I open to it?
Of course I am.
It’s my dream job.
After yesterday, maybe leaving now is better for both of us before either of us falls into deeper feelings.I glance back at the ward.At the space where Brant should be.At everything I haven’t let myself feel too deeply.Knowing he’ll move on from me and have a clean slate with the chief position, and my dad not breathing down his neck.
“I’d love to,” I say.“I just don’t know if I’m allowed to break my current contract yet.”
“You’re welcome to call me back once you’ve confirmed,” she says kindly.“I actually did speak to your father already… Dr.Fraser Thomas?”
I swallow hard.“Yes.That’s him.”
“He said it would be fine for you to go, but I think it’s best if the two of you talk it over.I know this is sudden, and I’m sorry to drop it on you like this.We just really don’t want to leave the position vacant for too long.”
“No, I understand completely.I’ll speak to him and get back to you as soon as I can.”
“Thank you, Regan.”
“Of course.I’ll be in touch.”I hang up and stare at my phone screen, breathing shallow, fingers tingling.This should feel like the best moment of my life.
Instead, it feels like heartbreak.
I head to dad’s office, finding him hunched over paperwork.The late afternoon light peeks through the curtains, catching on his frame, and he seems older.“Dad?”
He looks up, and his eyebrows pinch into that expression he wears when he’s trying to read me.“Regan.Come in, sit down.”
I close the door behind me and sit down in the chair.“New York HR called you,” I say.It’s not a question.
He nods, dropping his paper and leaning back in his chair.“She did.She wanted to make sure there wouldn’t be any problems if they offered you the position earlier.”
“And what did you tell her?”I already know he approved breaking my contract, but I need to hear what else he said.If he tried to talk them out of it.If he wants me to stay.
His expression softens, pride shining in his eyes.“That you’re an exceptional doctor and any hospital would be lucky to have you.And if this is what you want, then I wouldn’t stand in your way.”
My throat swells; he’s really letting me go.I look down at my hands clutched in my lap.“It’s what I want.It’s everything I’ve worked toward.”
“But?”he asks softly, leaning forward slightly.
How do I tell him that leaving means losing Brant?That I’ve finally found someone who makes me feel seen, and now I have to walk away from it?
