“Was escaping scary?”
“Very. The first few months, I feared everything. Of course, my first apartment wasn’t an apartment, but a hotel that allowed me to rent by the month. I ate food from the convenience store next door for the first few weeks. Then I found a grocery store. Growing up, I ate scraps. So whatever was left was what I got. Most of my meals were what people called vegetarian. Eating thejunk food and hotdogs from the convenience store was a weird treat, but I felt awful until I started eating vegetables again.”
“Wow.”
“Since women weren’t allowed to eat at the table, and children were lower than women, there were days I went hungry. I learned which berries wouldn’t make me sick and foraged in the wilderness.”
“That’s wild. You should write a book about your time in the cult,” Pen said.
“Why? Who would be interested in what I have to say.”
Willa pointed the spoon she’d been using at her. “Loads of people would be interested. You could probably start a podcast.”
“A what?”
“Podcast. It’s an audio reporting method. It’s long form, and the subjects range from cooking to camping or true crime and advice.”
Pen turned to her. “We can find you some resources. There’s a great podcast I listen to. I’ll send you the links.”
She had no idea if they were right about her writing a book, but she was interested in listening to the podcasts. She’d spent her whole life so sheltered from the world she had no idea how to exist in it. The last two years had been a trial run at best.
There’d been a shift in her perspective after meeting Jump. It was like she woke up and found herself in a different world. “Before meeting Jump and you all, I felt like I was existing in a different world.”
“How do you mean?” Pen asked.
“The fear was always there. I couldn’t go back to it. I would die. Even though I didn’t know how to do a lot of stuff, I wanted freedom. When my dad took me to the bank, I would see small snatches of real life and I wanted it. I wanted to understand how the women were working at the bank.”
“How did you deal with going out in public? Like did you ever want to ask for help?” Pen asked.
Blakely nodded. “Absolutely, but my father threatened me. Well, not me specifically. He told me if I talked to any of the people at the bank, he would hurt one of my siblings. Though I wasn’t what you would call friends with my siblings, I hated seeing them hurt because of me.”
Willa shook her head. “That just sounds awful. I don’t think I could recover from that. You’re very strong.”
She shook her head. “I don’t feel strong.”
“I think you are. You escaped everything you knew for freedom. You know there are so many women who probably wanted out but couldn’t get out.”
“So a book. Do you really think anyone would be interested in reading my story?”
They both nodded.
“Absolutely,” Pen said.
“Yes. I think you could give some good insight into cults and how to get out of them.”
Getting out had been hard. It had taken her years to figure out how to leave. When her father had died, she’d been alone for a few days before she realized it was the perfect time to go. He’d crashed their vehicle, so she had no way to leave with her stuff.
So instead of packing up a lot of stuff, she grabbed only what she needed and headed toward the bus station. On that walk to the station, she’d been so scared that someone who knew her family would see her and stop her.
“After the crash, I was very sad. But I knew it was the only time I would be free to leave. Once Grayson heard that my father had died along with all the kids, he would come for me.”
Pen stepped closer and gave her a hug. “You had to get out.”
She nodded. “I see how people are close to their siblings and how they care so much for them, but I wasn’t allowed tohave that kind of relationship with my siblings. They would have loved living in the real world. I know my sisters would have been something special.”
“I’m sure they would have been wonderful,” Willa said. “I’m so sorry they didn’t have a chance to live a normal life.”
“They would have really gotten into studying. It’s just so sad. So many lives were ruined by the cult.”
