“Hey!”
Lissa pointed at him. “You shush for a moment. It’s like trying to corral children right now. I want you both to take a moment, breathe deeply, and remember that you’re best friends. That you love and support each other. That you want the best for each other. This isn’t that. This is you both rebelling against each other, and that’s not what either of you needs.”
Nate slumped beside me, rubbing his cheek slowly, even though it wouldn’t be hurting anymore. It was probably just a reflex at this point.
“I-”
“She was beating up on me, Lissa. She’s the one picking onme.”
My gasp turned to a giggle, and I reached over to slap his arm, which led to an overblown reaction, and a horrified glance at Lissa on the big screen.
“See? She’s literally bullying me!”
My giggles set him off, and then her, and the laughter seemed to clear the air, at least for the moment, because if the exhausted relaxed feeling I was sinking in to was what he felt too, then maybe we could move past this after all.
Lissa took a deep breath, smoothing a hand over her silky cream blouse. She dressed so smartly, looking like an accomplished businesswoman, and I didn’t even have a look anymore. I wore sweats and t-shirts. I used to know who I was before Sean, but not anymore.
“Okay, I can see what’s happening here,” Lissa said, and we both lifted our heads, our eyes and ears fixed on her, and the pearl of wisdom she was about to bestow upon us.
She grinned at us. “Ready to hear this?”
We exchanged a nervous look. What the hell was she about to say?
“Go on,” I said tensely, wanting nothing more than to grab Nate’s hand and let it offer me strength right now.
“You’re butting heads because you care about each other. You’re pushing each other for a reaction, because you’re friends. You’ve always been friends, maybe even a little more, and right now you’re in a forced proximity type of situation, and you’re testing each other out. You’re trying to see how far you can push each other. Will one of you snap? Will one of you back down?”
“She slapped me!” Nate burst out, and she grinned again.
“Exactly. You’re dealing with, not only the aftermath of Gloria’s relationship, but your own too. How you were before, and how you are now. You’re finding your place with each other.I know there are a lot of feelings here, some appropriate for the situation, and some that should be overlooked right now while you heal. Both of you need to heal.”
Both of us? Almost as if I’d asked, Lissa nodded.
“You went through hell, Gloria, we both know that, and Henley suspects things that could well be accurate, but he suffered too. He lost his best friend for years. He wasn’t able to see you, or talk to you, he wasn’t able to protect you. He’s angry at himself for not preventing it all. You’re both on edge, and waiting for things to blow up in your faces. It doesn’t have to happen, but… well, I’m kinda thinking it might help if it does.”
I shot a nervous glance at Nate, and saw him smirking.
“Like her slapping me, you mean. That kind of blowing up.”
Lissa smiled. “That’s a good start. You said she punched you too, and that’s also a good start. You startled her, and she reacted. Teaching Gloria how to defend herself is a great idea, but don’t be surprised if she needs to let out some aggression and you become the target of that rage.”
“I can take it,” he said firmly, but definitely not wisely, because I probably had more rage in me than he could even imagine. Most of it was directed inward, but if it came out, I don’t think I could stop it.
“You could try a rage room, or some kind of activity literally created for this kind of release, or you could just try beating each other up in that fancy man cave, and see where it takes you.”
Huh. The weirdest advice I ever thought I’d get from a therapist, but then, every situation differed, so maybe the advice had to as well.
“And then?”
“And then maybe you’ll be ready to face him. Not before. If you go in half assed, and try to entice him to hurt you, you may not be able to stop him. Don’t underestimate the power he had over you, and remember that if you face him again before you’reready, you may well just fall back into the safe behaviour that he used to enslave you.”
Nate lurched up from the sofa, cursing a low stream of words that I was surprised to hear coming from him. That biker club was possibly a bad influence on him, but whether it was the one he was with now, or the previous one, I had no idea.
“Nate-”
“Henley. Please. I… every time you call me by that name, I’m taken right back to there. Right back to when I fucking failed you, and let you leave with him. I… I can’t be him anymore, do you get it? Even right up until you called, I could still handle it, but now? Now he’s the fucking idiot who let you get hurt. He’s the fucking moron who merrily went about his life while you were a fucking punching bag, or whatever the hell that fucker did. I can’t be him anymore, I can’t.”
He dropped back onto the sofa, his head in his hands, breaths rasping from his chest as he fought for calm or control, whatever he needed to find within himself.
