Chapter Eight
Don’t fucking cry infront of her. Don’t you fucking dare! FUCK!
I lurched up from the seat, leaving the room as fast as I could, so she’d miss the first pathetic sob that tore from my throat. What the fuck was going on with me? First with Lissa and now with Glory, the one person I never wanted to see me as weak, but what was the alternative? That I hid everything from her and she thought I didn’t care or feel anything?
She grabbed my arm as I headed for my office, and I froze, staying as I was, facing away from her so she couldn’t see the fucking tears on my cheeks, the way my chest was heaving with repressed sobs.
“Lissa says if we don’t let things out, they eat us up from inside. She said letting it out isn’t weakness.”
Fuck.
“I’m sorry that my being here is messing you up like this.”
I spun on my heel, dragging the back of my hand across my face.
“What? Don’t do that! I’m glad you called me. You can always call me!”
She pointed at my face, a brief jab of her finger in its general direction.
“I’m doingthisto you.”
I swallowed hard, lifting a shoulder like it was no big deal.
“Uh… allergies, you know…” I lifted a hand like, what, like I’m allergic to my damn house?
“Nate…”
Jesus. I dragged my hands over my face again because my eyes wouldn’t stop fucking leaking.
“I’m being a wuss, I know. I’m just… can you let me retain a little of my manly pride and let me cry in another room?”
Glory shook her head, stepping closer and hugging me.
“You helped me let it out, so now I’m doing the same for you. We’re friends, right?” Friends. Yeah. That’s all we are. All we can be.
I wrapped my arms around her, squeezing her against me as I forced slow deep breaths and fought the emotions, because there was no way I was doing this in front of her. I’m not a fucking crier, dammit.
“Nate, stop holding back.”
I cupped the back of her head and sighed, resting my cheek against her hair.
“I’m okay. I’m just… struggling with what you’ve gone through, and that’s with me not even knowing anything.”
“I… I don’t know if I can tell you.”
I kissed her hair, resting my cheek again. “Don’t need to. It’s not my business. I just have the worst possible thoughts in my head, and I know I’m probably right on some of it. It kills me. It’s… I should have stopped things. I should have done anything I could to keep you apart.”
Glory struggled out of my arms, not backing away, just wanting to look me in the eye.
“It wouldn’t have changed anything, Nate. I mean, I may have ended up losing you as a friend over it, because I was so sure about him. I was so fucking caught up in him, and you’d have lost. You shouldn’t have, but you would have.”
Ouch. “I should have tried harder,” I insisted, because I’m a stubborn bastard.
“You did. Don’t you remember?”
Did I? It wasn’t enough, obviously.
“Nate, you threatened to break his face, which was really out of character for you. You begged me not to leave with him that day. You swore he wasn’t right. I was just too blinded by love to listen to the one person I should always have prioritised.”
