“I want her to finish the tat.”
Glory
What the hell washe playing at? I was shaking my head, Rocket was chuckling, because apparently this was funny as hell to him, and Has-Been just looked resigned.
“Okay,” he said, lowering the equipment, while I held up my hands.
“God no, I’m not ready for that! What if I mess it up?”
Henley snatched my hand back, squeezing it gently.
“I believe in you, sweetheart, and if you mess it up, I’ll just treasure it more because it was you doing it.”
“While he’d tear me a new one if I did that,” Has-Been pointed out with a grin, peeling off his latex gloves and tossing them in the bin beside him.
“No! I can’t!”
Rocket stood up, stretching his back out, and peeled off his gloves too. Oh my god, were they both abandoning us? I couldn’t do our ink! I couldn’t finish one, let alone two tattoos.
“Glory, you can do this.”
No. Why couldn’t he understand that? Was I yearning to try? Sure, but did I think I was ready, or capable? No. Definitely not.
“Tattoos are permanent, you dildo. What if I mess it up and it needs to be corrected, or worse, what if I mess it up and it can’t be fixed? What if you have to wear a stupid error forever?!”
“Dildo?” He asked, wide eyed and fighting laughter.
“That’s all you focused on? Henley, I’m serious! I’m not ready.”
He dragged me closer, letting me slide off the seat to stand beside him, both of my hands in his.
“I love you. I love how talented you are, and I’m proud of those talents. Why wouldn’t I want to wear ink you put on my skin?”
“I haven’t practiced anything! I can’t even remember what to do.”
“Yes. Yes, you can. You’re fighting it because you were being conditioned into believing you couldn’t. I know you can. Please. Just a little, even. Just add a little of the ink, and then I’ll be able to look at it and know you were a part of its creation.”
Has-Been was back and leaned closer, pointing to a part of the Phoenix that wasn’t finished yet. An area that needed to be filled, with red and orange.
“Why not fill this section? It’ll get you inking without fear, and he’ll be able to rub one out later looking at the part you did, and only that part, right, you kinky fucker?”
Oh. I ignored them as they chuckled and bantered with each other, eyeing the beautiful work Has-Been had done, the Phoenix logo all mapped out, with the old lady part beneath it, and my name in cursive letters. Wow. The permanence resonated with me, making me feel warm inside at seeing it on his body. His body was being branded with my name in such a visible way, something he could show off, something he’d be able to look at, to see me there with him. Of course it was only one of many tattoos featuring my name, but this was the most meaningful, because it was the one being added because I was here instead of missing from his life.
He wanted my hand involved somehow, and it made sense. I could feel what he was reaching for. Confirmation of our connection, an almost circular journey, from friendship to love, and encompassing both for eternity. Maybe that’s why I said what I said next.
“Okay, I’ll do it.”
My fingers were trembling as Has-Been guided me into his seat, and passed a fresh pair of gloves to me.
“Remember to brace your hand against his skin, so you’ve got a firm foundation to balance against. That’s it, move a little and feel how your hand moves with it.” It was coming back. The familiarity of holding a tattoo gun was like an old warmth settling into me as I moved it around above his skin, the side of my hand pressed against him as I let it become a part of me.
“I can do this,” I breathed, a shiver of exhilaration flushing through me with the words. Henley was smiling proudly, tucking his hands behind his head as he waited for me to begin.
“Okay, switch it on and feel the vibration in your hand before you touch his skin. Remember how that feels too.”
Has-Been was a patient teacher, his quiet voice guiding me as I lowered the needle to Henley’s chest, my other hand flat on his skin to keep my canvas straight.
With steady motions, I applied the red colour to the portion of the Phoenix wing, stopping now and then to check that it mirrored the other side. Almost immediately, it felt like I’d never been away from doing this. It was all flooding back to me.
