Still no statement from the Palace. We will keep you updated on this developing story.
When Lucy Ferguson showed up with a baby, I knew it was over. She was the palace fixer and Mum’s ride-or-die. Though retired, she could be deployed in crisis situations. I stared at her, then Dad, and waited forsomeoneto speak.
Annoyed, Lucy explained, “I was summoned. I came.”
“And the baby?” I asked. “What did she do?”
Lucy foisted little Vanora—called Vanna after my late grandmother—into my lap and slumped on the sofa by Dad. I stared at the blue-eyed child who gaped at me. She grabbed my nose and blew a raspberry.
“At least one of us is taking this seriously,” I joked.
“Leah is in a creative moment. She has expelled everyone from the house while she composes. The problem is that the twins don’tquiteunderstand how to play nicely with this new sibling and all the grown-ups are constantly interfering. So, I took her with me. What, you find her distracting?”
Leah was my cousin, a superstar actor-turned-director. The woman had an EGOT by forty and made me look like a slouch. She was the tour-de-force my mother wished I was. Lucy’s son, Mac, donated the sperm Leah and her wife, Lourdes, needed to conceive their three children. Lucy was technically thegodmother but took on a grandmother role quite often in an unusual arrangement never codified or explained to the press.
“Yes,” I chuckled, giving her forehead a kiss. “Why do babies smell so heavenly?”
“So we do not kill them.” Lucy straightened in her chair. “Speaking of killing... I'm here to spare you and I've brought in reinforcements.”
I groaned.
“I am not going to beat a horse the press have already taken out. I am not cruel, sweetheart, but we need outside help. I hired someone based on Leah’s recommendation.”
“So we are taking cues from Leah now?”
“Leah knows everyone that I don't,” Lucy said. “These people are connected and can massage away problems for stars with their hands in the cookie jar. I am sure they can handle a wayward prince.”
I rolled my eyes. “And we are sure they will be quiet?”
“If Leah trusts them, I do.”
I didn’t trust the Hollywood set, but argument was futile. Lucy ran the show and knew whereallthe bodies are buried. Despite her American Midwestern accent, she always wielded her sword effectively.
The baby grabbed my shirt collar and pulled herself towards me, jerking and falling forward. I caught her.
“Watch it, trouble!” I chuckled. “You're up to no good.”
“Oh, you've managed to find the baby!”
Mum appeared in the doorway, then sat by the fire, furthest from me. “You realize you could make one of those if you would stop fucking around and finding out, right?”
I took a deep breath, but said nothing. Mum settled in, then softened.
“I have always wanted to spoil you because I worried there would neverbea you. You were our miracle baby. All thatspoiling got you was this... a mess of my making. I must cut the apron strings, and you must grow up. It’s time we bring in a handler for you.”
And with that, my fate was decided. I would learn to be a good boy or face the consequences. My luck had finally run out.
4
ALL THE FUCKERY
ELOISE
We arrived at the palace gate and presented our documentation. The guard played twenty questions with us. I was sure we were about to face another tribunal at the next step. To my surprise, we did not. Instead, guards pulled us through a back entrance where a man in a black suit waited. After a ride on a service elevator, and a parade through an endless maze of hallways, we arrived before two large, white doors.
I assumed we would soon see Prince Duncan. I expected him to be attractive, but an asshole. In my mind, I saw him as an angry, defensive prick. What I found was unexpected.
The doors opened and we were introduced.
