“I don't. That's smart, though.”
He looked salty. “That bastard is always the clever, good one. He'd do that to make me look like a knob.”
“Or to take the heat off you. Look, I don't know what happened with that photographer, but I won't deny that if it weremyfamily, I'd do the same.”
“It's so complicated.”
“I know. Look, I have experienced the pain that comes from being the butt of a joke or five when circumstances change. Feeling like you're a walking gossip column isn't fun for anyone. I get it. Maybe not as much as you do—probably not.”
“What happened to you, Miss… Ella?”
I smiled at his almost calling me Miss Mills. “It's boring. In my small pond, something happened to my family and suddenly we went from being admirable to pariahs. That's such old news now. But I was young and it hurt. It illustrated the worst in society. I am... past it now. But like... it was awful.”
“Is that why you became a spin-doctor?”
“Oh, I'm an actual spin-doctor now?” I chuckled. “You honor me.”
“Well, is it true?”
“I guess, in a way. I wanted to help people. I don't honestly know that I do, but I do solve crises. It’s a runner’s high.”
We sipped our wine. I tried not to crunch on the chocolate-dipped digestives too loudly.
“You're helping.Iam not helping, but you are doing a brilliant job, Ella. I wouldn't have an ounce of compassion for me in your circumstance.”
“I think you would,” I said. “You don't strike me as cruel—not now anyway.”
“Gee, thanks, Ella!”
I snickered. “Oh, stop. You're fine! And if you are feeling likeyouaren't helping you, it's because you really aren't.”
I worried about being too forthcoming. I shrank.
He sighed. “Tell me, Miss Mills. What can I do to help myself?”
“Do the doc.”
“Ugh. Not again!”
“No, listen,” I said, staring at him straight on. “Do it. Do it because you are wonderful like this—just being yourself. People will find you sweet and kind. Because if you let yourself be, you are. They will see the man who can cart around babies. Women love that shit.”
“How do you know?”
“Because it's adorable. Because I know you are human—a fallible human like the rest of us.”
“That is perilous, Ella. To be too human is the end of the world.”
“You can be both larger than life and still yourself, Duncan. Do the show. Help me help you.”
He sat in quiet, looking at the fire. My heart leapt at the idea I could make him commit and get my bonus. I didn't tell him about my own motives. It didn't make sense to spoiler it. I felt strongly this was best for him—regardless.
“I dunno. I'm not convinced, Ella.”
“What would convince you?” I sipped.
“You.”
“What? I just?—”
