“Of course I love you. I love you so much I’ve robbed you of privacy and freedom to feed my obsession for six years. Six years, Lizzy. The things I’ve done… You would be horrified if you knew.”
“Well, tell me what you’ve done, and I’ll decide for myself.”
This is it. Where she finds out the extent of my obsession and begins hating me. I just pray she doesn’t become afraid of me. I couldn’t handle fear in her eyes.
“I installed a hidden door in our shared fence to have better access to you. It’s what I use to sneak into your house multiple times a week. Well, that, and the keys I’ve made.” The admission is a weight off my shoulder, but there are still so many secrets holding me down.
I expect her to recoil, but she watches me with curiosity. “What do you do in my house when you break in?”
“I check your appliances, feed your pets, and just bask in your scent. Sometimes, I even watch you sleep. And that’s not the only time I watch you. I mounted cameras in your house and watch them all day every day.”
“You have cameras in my house? Have you seen me naked?” She reddens as she asks it, but the rosy cheeks don’t stem from anger. The lilt in her tone confirms that, leaving me befuddled.
“No. I swear. There aren’t any in your bedrooms or bathrooms. I’d never take away your consent like that. But, whenever you’re in a common area, my eyes are glued to you.” When her lips curve into a soft smile, my confusion turns into annoyance. She should be taking this seriously. “I even mirrored your phone and know everything on yours. You’ve had no privacy for the past six years.”
“Okay. Is there anything else you’ve done?” She sounds amused by my obsessive stalking. Doesn’t she understand? Is something wrong with her?
“I’m the one who’s shoveled your driveway every snow day. And I was the man who taught you how to drive in the snow disguised as an elderly man. Also, sometimes I ordermeals when you’re sick or tired with a fake name to your house. Those are for you. And our runs, I’ve purposely been following you on the trails. I even put the marathon plan on your phone because it was the best fit for you and your running style. Your social media and advertisements are cultivated by me for what you need. The way everything you need is always on sale. That’s me. It’s all me!” At this point, I’m trying to convince her of how terrible my actions are, because the look on her face is so far from the warranted fear and disgust that I’m more than a little concerned.
“Bash, I know you think this makes you a bad guy, but it doesn’t. You’re the best guy I know.” She crawls into my lap as she says it and winds her arms around my neck.
Crossing my arms at my chest, I scowl at her. “You should be scared! Or angry. You should hate me.”
“But I don’t.”
“Why not?”
“This all sounds to me like you’ve been taking care of me. You encouraged me to run a marathon and have been running with me to watch over me. You’ve been the reason I’ve had such an amazing life in Boston. It always felt like I had a guardian angel watching over me. Turns out I did, you. Let me guess, if something was broken, you’d fix it? Or if I were in danger, you’d step in?” She raises a brow in challenge at me.
“Of course, I keep you safe. It was no accident that we met that night. I saw him in your kitchen asking you out. His background check showed that he’s abusive. I couldn’t risk him hurting you, so I followed you. I watched the date through the bar’s security cameras. And when he didn’t take no for an answer, I stepped in.” She smirks victoriously at my admission, so I prove her wrong. “But I would’ve interrupted the date anyway, as I have every date you’ve attempted to goon. I blocked his number on your phone, but you went anyway, which really upset me. Every dating app you’ve downloaded, I’ve shut down. Because even though I couldn’t be with you, I wasn’t going to let anyone else have you.”
“I don’t get it. Why did you stay away? If you love me to the point of obsession, to do all these things, why not just introduce yourself? There’s no world in which I wouldn’t fall for you.”
I shake my head, not sure how much to tell her about the Syndicate. “That’s the other part. First and foremost, I need you to know that we’re the good guys. We may do bad things, but only to the bad guys.”
She leans back and the first look of worry crosses her face. “Explain.”
“My brother, Dom, runs the Syndicate. It’s an underground criminal organization. We keep order amongst the other families. Don’t get me wrong, what we do is highly illegal. Syndicate Enterprise is the legal front. Matthias runs it with my help, but I work for both sides.” I let the words hang in the air, thick like a blanket.
Quicker than I expected, she asks, “So, like the mafia?”
“Sort of. We work alongside the mafia. We may be the good guys, but I’m not a good man. I’ve ruined lives and not just for the Syndicate. I crave revenge for those who wrong the ones I love.” Flashes of the men whose lives I’ve ruined on her behalf flicker through my mind.
“Have you ever killed someone?” Her voice is low, serious at last.
“Yes,” I say softly. “I’ve killed many people. But only those who deserve it. But that’s the philosophical debate, isn’t it? Is it moral to murder a murderer, or does it just make you a murderer? Is your killing justifiable in a vigilante way, or do you just become what you took down?”
She blanches at that. “Is it moral to kill your abuser? We’re in the same boat. We do what we have to do.”
“No, we’re not. What you did was in a situation of life or death. You chose to save yourself. Don’t ever regret that.” She has to see the difference. What she did weighs down on her greatly, but it shouldn’t. “It’s not always life or death for me. Sometimes, it’s just for revenge.”
“Bash, have you ever killed someone who’s innocent? Or is it all criminals, murderers, and rapists?”
“That doesn’t change anything. I don’t regret any of the ones I’ve killed.” My hands reach for her hips, ready to shake some sense into her.
“Yes, it does. And I don’t regret killing Vincent.” She sighs then leans back into me. “Because you’re capable, you were able to take care of the men at my house, right?”
“Yes. I’m trained in many martial arts. I incapacitated them without firing a single bullet. They’re still alive, for now. But the urge to kill them after we interrogate them is strong. They were going to take you, my angel. That’s an unforgivable offense.” Darkness rounds my vision at the thought of what they wanted to do to her. They tried to take her from me.
