He nodded. “You.”
I looked up from the rollin’ tray. “I was lookin’ for you.”
I sucked my teeth. “Nigga, stop playin’, no, you were not.”
“I’m serious,” he said. “You… or a wife. Same difference, depending on how you move.”
My breath hitched a lil’ as I put the blunt up to my lips to roll it.
“That’s bold for the first night, don’t you think?”
He shrugged. “Life is too real to be moving scared. I’ve done a lot in my life, and now it’s time to settle down with somebody that can handle everything that comes with a nigga like me.”
I passed him the blunt, and he lit it to take a puff; I watched as he closed his eyes, letting the weed relax his mind as he rested his hand on my thigh.
Love had his driver take me home, and he walked me to my door.
“I’ma see you soon,” he said.
Not can I.
Not would you like to.
I swallowed. “I would like that, but I’m still fresh outta relationship. I don’t want to move too fast.”
He smiled, low and confident. “I hear you, but to be honest with you,” he said, stepping closer to me. “Time can only heal so much. Sometimes it takes the right nigga to show you what real love feels like, help you heal the right way.”
He handed me his phone, and I put my number in after. He kissed my cheek and looked me up and down.
“Goodnight, mamas.”
I unlocked my door and walked inside. “Goodnight, Love.”
After locking the door behind me, I kicked my heels off and stood there for a second, replaying everything about Love in my head.
His voice.
His hand.
The way he treated me off the rip, looking at me like he had already made his decision.
I let out a slow breath and walked to my room with a smile. As the phone rang in my hand, I looked down and saw my girls calling on three-way, and I picked up the phone, laughing, with them already screaming on the phone.
“Islahhhhhhh!!” Kenya said in the phone.
I laughed along with them and laid across my bed.
“Kenya, girl,” I said, getting Deja and Renee to calm down. “You did your big one tonight, girl.”
“Man, what?” Deja added. “I’m so glad we went to the event.”
We gave Kenya her flowers, then they started to ask me about Love. I couldn’t help but smile when I told them how chill and down-to-earth he was and how he was completely different from Gio.
They were excited for me, but I didn’t know how to feel. Everything in me wanted to move on from Gio, find a nigga that treats me right, and live a happy life, but every now and then, I missed him.
After I got off the phone with them and hopped in the shower, I thought about what Love said, how I needed a real nigga to heal. He might have been right. But I didn’t know if I was ready.
I got in bed, thinking about how I didn’t want to move too fast, but then I thought about how slow hurt feels, too.
