Sleep does sound appealing, even if it does give me just the tiniest bit of a God damn break. “Yeah, maybe I’ll try that.”
Jenna rushes out of the bedroom, and my heart tugs at the sight. She seems so comfortable moving around right now, I hope it’s not forced for me.
Arms wrap around my shoulders as Regina ushers me to rest my head in her lap. Her fingers move through my hair, and she gently eases apart the tugs that have formed. “You’re safe now, that’s all that matters.”
A tear slips down my cheek and onto her lap. I might be safe within the fortress of the Pit, but it’s my mind I’m most worried about; that’s something I can’t escape.
Only Saint had the force to chase away those demons.
She gently squeezes my arm. “You should eat, or else your mom will come in here and add to the headache you’re nursing. I’ve to send her evidence that you’ve actually managed something.”
I groan into her lap, “Great.”
Mom’s been coming in to check on me, but most of the time I’ve been faking sleep. I’m so glad she’s here and safe, but God it’s hard to look at her, knowing she’s the one who sees every emotion I won’t voice.
Regina’s been holding her down for me, like she does with everything that goes to shit in my life.
“Can we not tell my mom about…anything? I don’t want her to worry.”
I could already see the stress that took its toll on her from me being held at Conrad’s. Even though it was only a day, time seemed to stop for us all.
And she’s just as upset as everyone else about…Saint.
Then there’s the whole shit with Morgan; he’d become more than a friend to her over the last few years. She’s spent all this time believing he was one of the good guys, someone that didn’t want to rush her into anything physical, happy to keep it platonic as long as she did.
Deep down, he had the capabilities of a monster, held me down, and let my abuser attempt ruining my life for a second time. If she knew about that, it would fucking destroy her. If I can keep at least one person’s heart from becoming corroded, it’s hers.
“Sure, it’s yours to tell.”
When Regina manages to get all the tugs out of my hair, her fingers run through the strands freely, and it has exhaustion seeping into my bones, my coiled-up shoulders managing to release just enough that I feel like I’m sinking into the bed.
The door knocks, its hinges creaking when I hear it gently push open, and Dawson’s voice fills the room, sending my pulse roaring and chasing the tiredness away. “She’s agreed to come tomorrow.”
30
Indie
exile - taylor swift ft. bon iver
I’mleaningagainsttheentrance gate of the Pit, flanked by Dawson and Rex who are acting like my personal pitbulls. My head is still pounding from the other night and won’t shift. The sun’s rays beating directly onto my face aren’t helping either.
Everything’s still a bit fuzzy. I thought the text messages I found on Saint’s phone were a fragment of my imagination, that I’d had a drunken dream when I woke up, and fabricated the words I read.
Dawson has analysed the new messages that came through a hundred times. He also managed to uncover a deleted phone call. The context, we’re not sure of, but it happened right before Saint left the Pit to make it to the coast.
A familiar feeling is blooming in my chest; I don’t even want to feed into it. It’s the most fatal of them all. It destroyed me slowly for six whole years. If I let it fester, it might be my final undoing.
Even though it’s the first time I’ve felt anything other than my heart tearing itself apart in the days following last hearing his voice, I shove it back down from wherever it surfaced from.
If this is just another scheme, then allowing myself to be fooled into it is going to ruin me far worse than the last six days I’ve had to exist without him.
Hopeisa dangerous thing.
“Are you sure about this?” Rex asks Dawson, glancing at him over my head.
He looks just as tired as I feel, the sunlight unmasking the dark shadows that ghost beneath his eyes. Him and Jenna stayed in my room again last night.
Dawson finally answers after scanning the woodland. “I’ve got bodies dotted through that entire treeline. There’s no chance of being taken here. Besides…she came alone.”
