Cole happened to be there, too, tending to the animals, hauling bags of feed. At one point, he took his shirt off and used it to wipe the sweat off his brow. Kat was stunned by how naturally beautiful the man was. He looked like a professional model pretending to be a ranch hand more than an actual ranch hand. If she had told her mom he was living out of a cheap motel in town, drove a rusting pick-up truck, and did most of the grunt work on her land, her mom would have told her to stop lying and then asked which agency she got him from.
Inspiration struck, and Kat couldn’t help herself. Just as Cole lifted another bag of feed over his head, Kat lifted her camera and took a picture of him. When she lowered her arms again, Cole turned to see her and asked, “Did you just take a picture of me?”
She gave him a sheepish grin. “You looked so good. I couldn’t help myself.”
He laughed, but there was something off about it. Kat had heard him laugh so many times—usually at her for something silly she’d done—and this didn’t sound anything like his real laugh. It was a stiff laugh, like he was trying too hard to sound natural and failing. When he finally said, “You should delete it,” she knew for sure he wasn’t happy.
“But why?” Uncertain what this was all about, Kat reverted to her usual flirtatious teasing, hoping that might cheer him up. “I was thinking you could be an even bigger draw than the animals.Come see the sexiest cowboy this side of the Mississippi.” She gestured to indicate a big sign over her head as she spoke. “You’ll bring in all the single ladies. It’s a whole new demographic. We could even make a calendar.”
She expected him to laugh and tell her she was being ridiculous. Probably, he would explain to her that single women were not the right target audience for a ranch. And thenshewould explain that limiting one’s target audience was a great way to stagnate a business. Surely, he would say something snarky after that, though she could not predict what. But none of that happened at all. Instead, he looked at her, eyes wide like a prey animal seeing the predator in the bushes for the first time.
If she didn’t know any better, she would guess he was actually scared. But that was ridiculous, wasn’t it? “Cole?” She took a step toward him. “Are you OK? Is the heat too much? You can take a break whenever you need one, you know.”
He didn’t relax at all. In fact, she could feel him tense even more. “I’ll pay you,” he said.
“What?”
“I’ll pay you to delete it.”
“Cole—”
“I’m not kidding,” he interrupted and took several steps toward her. “I’ll pay you more than you could possibly make off it. And free labor for a year.”
She was actually starting to worry now. “You don’t have to pay me to delete a photo of you. Have you lost it completely?”
“Then delete it, right now. Do it and let me see you do it.”
He was dead serious. She’d never seen him like this before. The strange part about it was she’d started to feel like she was finally getting to know him for real, like he was finally opening up to her, relaxing a little about his past. “OK, OK. I’ll delete it already.”
“And let me see you do it,” he repeated.
Tentatively, she walked over to stand beside him. Though she wasn’t worried he would ever hurt her, his current demeanor was intimidating for some reason. She showed the screen to him and hit delete. It was such a shame, in her opinion. The picture really was a good one, captured in the perfect moment with the perfect lighting. She was highly unlikely to be able to reproduce it. But Cole seemed to want it gone. “There,” she said. “It’s deleted. Are you happy now?”
He shook his head. “Swear to me you will never take another photo of me, OK? I do not consent to be in your social media campaign, or your calendar, or anything else you may dream up.”
She was completely blindsided. Even the lambs seemed shocked by this massive change in Cole’s personality. “I won’t ever take a picture of you again,” she said.
“Swear it.”
She knit her brow, beyond confused about why this could possibly matter. Either way, she went along with it because what else was there to do? “I swear I will never take a picture of you again.” Then she added. “That’s going to put a damper on me telling my friends about my hot new boyfriend if I don’t have proof, though. They’ll say I’m lying.”
All at once, he appeared to relax and soften toward her again. He stepped in and pushed her hair behind her ear in a way that sent a shiver down her spine. “Then, I’ll have to go meet them in person, won’t I? Wouldn’t that be better anyway? Pictures can be faked.”
She sighed. Whatever it was he was afraid of had to be very real. There was no chance he was going to change his mind any time soon, no matter how much she begged. She didn’t even dare ask him to give her a photo of him that he already had lying around. As worried as he was, she doubted this was just him being shy or having low self-esteem. There was far more to it than that, but she didn’t dare ask.
Kat left him to finish her work in the budgeting office. The longer she thought about his reaction, the more confused she became. She went online to see if she could find any information on something similar happening to anyone else. There was definitely a common phobia that involved photographs. She tried to tell herself that was all it was, but no matter how she thought about it, it just didn’t sit right with her.
For the rest of the day, she turned it over and over in her mind. Asking her family for advice might cause more problems for her. If Cole’s fear had something to do with his identity getting out there, then telling her family all about him and his fear ofphotographs could put him in jeopardy. At the very least, she wanted to give him the benefit of the doubt and not expose him until she knew what this was all about. At the same time, she was feeling more alone than ever and craving some good advice. What she needed was to ask her questions anonymously, and she knew exactly how to do that.
Late that night, Cole left to spend the night at the hotel. Kat was more distraught than she normally would have expected. She found a discussion forum about romantic relationships to seek some advice. There were plenty of people asking questions about whether or not they should forgive their cheating partners, whether or not a first date went well in everyone else’s opinion, or whether their friends and family having bad opinions of their partners meant anything.
Kat knew she had an odd situation, but she decided to ask about it anyway. She composed her story and question on a notepad to ensure she got it right. For at least an hour, she went over it, making certain any and all information that could lead to a possible identification of either her or Cole was removed.
In the end, the post was not a short one. She told as much of her story as she could, gave every piece of information she felt safe giving, and then she asked her question:In your opinion, does this relationship have a good foundation, or is it doomed to fail?
Once her question was posted, she went to the kitchen to make herself a snack and a drink. She’d realized that she had spent so much time worrying over what had happened that afternoon that she’d forgotten to eat lunch and dinner. Once she had a sandwich and a light cocktail to help her relax a bit, she went back to her computer to find she already had several answers.
“Wow,” she said, settling in to read. “You guys work fast.” And how many of them were in her time zone, staying up this late, agonizing over their own relationships, just like she was, and somehow feeling confident enough to offer advice on the relationships of others?
