“Did you know?” Josie’s question hits me square in the chest.
“No.” I spit, insulted that she could think that of me, but then the shame bubbles from deep in my gut, tightening the thing splintering in my chest. “Yes. Fuck, I don’t know. Maybe.”
“I don’t know, maybe?”
It’s so quiet I barely catch it. Before I can explain, she’s crashing back into the house, the door splintering the drywall.
“Baby, please. Listen to me, let me explain,” I plead, chasing her down the hall to our bedroom door.
She shoves into the closet, throws a bag onto our bed, and fills it with handfuls of clothes.
“What the hell do you think you’re doing?”
She doesn’t answer me, just continues her impersonation of a Tasmanian devil while emptying the dresser drawers.
I snatch her wrist, closing around the bone to halt her dizzying movements. She fights against my hold, but it does nothing, other than piss me off. Banding my arm around her waist, I drag her in close until a breeze couldn’t find its way between us.
“Stop!” I command, but her fight doesn’t fail. If I could wrap my leg around her’s without taking us down to the floor in a heap, I would. Instead, I back her against the wall using its support to lock her into place.
“Let me fucking go, Vik.”
“Never. You’re mine, mama. You can be spittin’ mad, but I’m not letting you walk out that door before we fucking fix this.”
“What’s there to fix? You fucking lied to me.” The fight drains from her body, and she slumps in my arms, not going anywhere against the press of my frame.
“I didn’t lie to you, baby.”
“You knew. You knew you had a kid out there, and you didn’t tell me. Omission is still lying, Vik.”
“I didn’t know.”
“But—”
“Let me talk, woman. I didn’t know I had a kid. Fuck, you really think I would just ignore that? Is that what you think of me after all these years?”
Her eyes fill with shame, but she doesn’t deny it. I tamp down the anger coursing through my veins. This isn’t about me right now. My only concern is breaking through her thick skull and setting things straight.
“Miranda and I were a thing, for all of five minutes about fifteen years ago. I was young, living it up as nothing more than a member of the club, enjoying all the benefits without any of the responsibility. Except, when I thought she was just mine, since she seemed to be spending every night in my bed, I found out that couldn’t be further from the truth. I was out on a run with the guys and came back earlier than expected. Found her bent over the pool table with Stitch balls deep.”
I haven’t thought about this shit in years, but rehashing it sends every forgotten memory crashing in. The man I considered a brother, fucking my girl. It wasn’t something we got over. Not until Pres sat our asses down in church and demanded we either talk it or fight it out, because he was over the distrust flowing through his club.
“Turns out she told him we weren’t serious. You know how the club is. There are plenty of women willing and ready to open their legs for any member, just hoping for a chance to become an old lady. So, yeah, when she showed up two months later with a positive pregnancy test, excuse me for not fucking believing that the baby was mine.”
Josie’s head thuds against the wall as her eyes fill with tears. “So, he could be yours?”
My forehead falls, meeting hers, as I close my eyes and draw in a deep breath. “I asked for a paternity test when she showed back up. It blew up, she threatened to take me to court, but I never heard from her again. Maybe she was too worried about all the possible fathers, or maybe all she did was wait and see, because I think we both know he’s mine. The kid looks just like me.”
The truth laid bare before us doesn’t magically erase the last few days. It doesn’t change the fact that, whether I asked for it or not, I have a son.
“Fuck, I need to find him.”
Josie nods, refusing to meet my eyes. When I push away, my hands still hold tight to her hips, because I’m scared she’ll collapse. I’m terrified to move and break the calm we’re wading in.
“Tell me we’ll get past this?”
“I—I need some time, Vik. Go look for Trenton. He likely headed for the bus stop in town, that’s where I first saw him.”
“You’ll be here when I get back, right. I know this is a shock, and I’m so fucking sorry it’s happening to us, but we can get through this, I know we can. I just—” My voice cracks. “I need you to be here when I get back, baby.”
