“Yeah. Hot as fuck.”
“We can't keep doing this,” she says.
I tilt her headtoward me. “Why the hell not?”
Her brows furrow, mouth pulling into a straight line, like she wants to keep me out. This is where she pulls away, where the walls slam down on top of me. I’m used to that, so I wait for the inevitable to happen.
But it doesn’t.
She's quiet for a long minute, and I’m starting to think she's not going to answer. Then she speaks. “Because it's starting to blur the lines.”
The admission hangs in the air between us, thick enough to choke us both.
“Would that be so bad?” I ask, running a hand down the slops of her spine.
“Yes. Because this isn't real, remember? This whole marriage, this whole situation. It's all just...”
“Just what?” I ask.
“Temporary.”
I tighten my arm around her. “Maybe it doesn't have to be.”
She looks up at me then, disbelief in her eyes. “Come on. Don't say things like that.”
“Why not?”
She bites down on her lip. “Because I might start believing them.”
“Maybe you should.”
But even as I say it, I know I'm lying. Because the mission is still there, waiting. Kingston's expectations. Access to the intel we still need. The secrets I'm still keeping from her.
She must see something cloud my expression because she pulls back slightly.
“See? That's why this is dangerous. Because neither of us knows what's real and what's just... convenient.”
She's not wrong. But lying here with her, feeling her heart beat against my chest, it all feels pretty fucking real to me.
“Tierney—” I begin.
“No, don't.” She presses a finger to my lips. “Let's just... let's just have this. For now. Without trying to figure out what it means or where it's going.”
“Okay.” I kiss her finger, then her palm. “But just for now.”
Because I know you still need convincing and I’m gonna make you believe that this is real. Even if you don’t believe me now. You will.
But I don’t say any of that. She’d never accept it, not after what just happened between us. She needs time. We both do. But I need the time to figure out how not to destroy what’s happening between us.
She settles back against my chest, and I can feel some of the tension leave her body. We're both avoiding the bigger conversation, the one about feelings and futures and what happens when this arrangement runs its course.
But for now, this is enough. Having her in my arms, feeling her trust me enough to let her guard down, even if it's just physical.
My phone buzzes on the nightstand, probably Reign with more information on Declan's situation. But I ignore it. Whatever he's found can wait.
Right now, all I want is to hold my wife and pretend that what we just shared was exactly as simple as it felt.
Even though I know it's anything but.
