Page 190 of His Reckoning

Melissa watches me for a long moment, like she’s weighing everything I just said, and then she leans back slightly.

“Okay,” she says, “I believe you.”

I nod but it doesn’t make the tight feeling in my chest go away. None of that changes what happened.

“He still thinks I used him,” I say quietly. “And nothing I say will change that.”

Melissa exhales slowly. “He’s not exactly thinking clearly right now.”

“I know.” I look down at my hands again. “But that doesn’t mean he’s wrong to feel the way he does.”

Her brow furrows slightly. “What do you mean?”

I swallow. “He trusted me with something he’s never told anyone.” My voice softens. “And then he saw pieces of himself on a page before he was ready.”

The weight of that settles between us.

Melissa nods slowly. “Yeah.”

“I should’ve told him,” I add. “That I was writing beyond the inspiration of the attraction and chemistry.”

“You probably should have,” she says gently.

I nod. “I know.”

Silence stretches for a moment.

Then I take a breath. “I emailed my publisher when I was waiting for my car to your place.”

Melissa straightens immediately. “You what?”

“I told them I’m pulling the manuscript.”

Her eyes widen. “Kayla.”

“I’m not publishing it.” The words come out steady.

Melissa stares at me like she’s trying to figure out if I’m serious. “You just finished that book.”

“I know.”

“You said it was your best one.”

“It is.” I swallow past the lump in my throat. “But I’m not putting it out there.”

She exhales slowly. “Are you even allowed to do that?”

I shrug. “They won’t be happy.”

“That’s not what I asked.”

I meet her eyes. “They’ll probably drop me.”

An uneasy silence permeated the room. “And you’re okay with that?”

I think about it for a second. About the months I spent writing and how hard this book fought me. But also, how right it finally felt when it was done.

Then I picture Sawyer and the look on his face. The way his voice sounded when he said I turned his life into something to sell.