The fucking point?
My body is more than a shell. It is my anchor. To this world. I am meant to be. I regret my decision. I’m willing to die, but dying to breathe. Time to inhale the rushing waters. Drown in the shallows.
Freya forgive! Odin save me!
Desperate, I throw my hand up, as far as I can. The current bends my arm backward. My finger barely breaches the surface.
A ray of light banishes the terror of night. Someone takes hold. A firm grip ripping me out of the darkness. Wet, drenched. Sputtering. Born again.
I lie on my stomach, squirming like a baby. I can’t stop coughing. Liquid shadow exits my lungs. These waters were meant to kill me. Choke my resistance.
I look at my hand, where I was held. It’s covered in blood that isn’t my own.
I don’t want to die. I’ll never give in to the stillness. My journey has no end.
Kilda will live forever.
CHAPTER 35
We arrive at the tent. Ylvin and Elof are sleeping. I’m just happy they don’t know what has happened. Ari had offered me his fur when I was finished with my convulsions. I hadn’t complained, walking back to camp in solemn silence with his arm around my shoulder.
Now, I tug his fur closer. I almost died. I almost lost my breath to the thundering river. Almost sank. A foolish child attempting to defy the forces of nature. Defy the waters flowing from Yggdrasil. Even worse, I’ve lost my blanket. Ari’s fur won’t cover my legs. My eyelids are heavy. My thoughts groggy. I’m freezing. Shaking. He should have let me die, let me?—
Ari’s voice. He says something but the rain hammering down on the lavvu drowns out his words.
What’s he saying? I glance at him, but he isn’t looking at me. He is pointing at his blanket. A flame ignites in my chest as I realize what he is suggesting.
“I can’t slee?—”
“Lie down. You will freeze.”
Usually, I would laugh at him. Spit in his face. Ridicule him for trying to lure a young girl under his blanket. We only have Ari’s blanket, hide, and fur to keep us warm. Even so, every fiber of my being resists getting under the blanket with this charming skald. How many girls have fallen into his trap?
He walks to his knapsack, taking out a large linen cloth. His expression is serious as he starts roughly drying my hair. I accept it. I don’t have the energy to tell him how stupid he is. How futile his plans are.
He quietly dries my hair from all angles, shaking the sides of my head before massaging the hair on the nape of my neck. Waves of pleasure wash down my back and sides as I relax.
“You need dry clothes,” he says, returning to his knapsack and pulling out a long linen shirt. He holds it out to me. I stare at him blankly. What is he expecting?
“I won’t look,” he promises as he turns around.
It takes me a second to realize what I’m about to do, but the situation is so surreal—I’m not sure how slipping into his linen shirt will make a difference. I take off my own drenched linen, feeling goosebumps grow on the wet skin of my back, chest, and stomach. A quick glance is thrown his way—his back is still turned. I actually trust him to keep his eyes to himself.
My leather pants are harder to take off, sticking to my body like mud. I wriggle hurriedly as I pull them down, not wanting to stand naked in Ari’s presence. Ari’s shirt is long, reaching down to my knees. He actually brought a kirtle? What was he planning? A leisure trip?
I slip it on. It sticks to my humid skin, making me blush as I notice my nipples are visible beneath it. Panicked, I lift the linen just to watch it return to its position and highlight my breasts. Folding my arms will do the trick. I’ll pretend like nothing.
“Thank you,” I whisper.
“Can I turn?”
“Yes.”
His gaze is worried and stern. Perhaps he cares. Perhaps he wants my best. He could have let me drown, but he decided to?—
“You’re still wet,” he says as he picks up the drying linen.
He falls to his knees next to me. My body goes rigid in anticipation. Should I let him help me or smack him over the head for his perverted insolence?
