“Pervert,” I say without sounding angry, to brush it off. “They are my pants now.”
I move to the other side to keep adjusting the hide. No more view of my hindquarters for the bastard skald. If only this corner would concede, surrender. Then I could catch some sleep. I’m exhausted after the walk, the food, and most of all, concentrating on Ylvin’s words.
“It’s true, the pants are yours,” he says, pausing. “Uh… I don’t mean to be rude but, now I can see down your shirt.”
I straighten instantly, covering my chest with my arms. My cheeks flush. What had he seen? Such a bastard. This is the worst possible scenario. How am I to learn about Seidr magic with an old pervert staring at me?
“Keep your eyes to yourself,” I snap, pointing a finger at him.
“It’s hard not to peek when such plump plums hang so lush from their tree.”
Ah, a kenning, poetry. How fitting. Just perfect. Exactly what a girl wants to hear when forced to sleep with a man staring at her chest.
“You’re like a fucking animal,” I say as I shake my head. Now I’m actually trying to hurt him. But the laws of honor don’t seem to affect him as they do other men. Had I said this to Vidar, he would punish me. Maybe it’s one of the privileges of being a skald. To be an honorless dog.
“Please,” he says with humor as I consider throwing my cow-hide at him just to make him shut the fuck up before he even begins. “Animal is a bit harsh—I preferred goat fucker.”
“I don’t care what you prefer.”
Tears press behind my eyes, fighting to escape. But I won’t let Ari enjoy my defeat so he can gloat and write weak poetry. It’s all so unfair. Ylvin doesn’t care. Fuck the cow-hide. I willsleep with a lump under my back. Shitty hide. I slam myself unceremoniously under my blanket with my clothes on, leather pants and all. If Ylvin had let me sleep with her, I would wear my underdress. But with the skald? No chance. No chance in Hel, Valhalla, or Midgard. Any which place. I turn my back to Ari.
“Alright,” says the bastard skald. “Goodnight.”
“Just shut the fuck up,” I whisper, trying to color my tone with venom.
He lies back. He doesn’t speak. What if the farm hears of this? They will laugh. They will point. They will hate me. No one will want me. It’s so unfair.
I wiggle my body, trying to avoid the lump beneath me. I fail. I’m humiliated. I’m dishonored. And… I’m uncomfortable. It’s so unfair.
I finally let tears flow, some trickle freely down my cheek. Others pool on the side of my nose. I wipe them away. It feels good to release. I don’t think I’ve cried since I was taken. Since I was enslaved. Or did I? I’ve had to keep a tough exterior. An honorable facade. I want to be known as strong, not as a wailing wench.
I sniffle, trying to mask my weakness. I hear shuffling from Ari’s side of the tent.
“Look, Kilda,” he whispers softly. “I won’t tell anyone about this. I promise. We can talk to Ylvin about it tomorrow.”
I ignore him, pretending I’m sleeping. He’s been so nonchalant about all of this. He just can’t relate to my position.
“I hope you find rest,” he whispers.
Images of my previous life flicker in my head. Narve, Groa, Father. Was it enough? Am I enough now? Ylvin’s smile and slender body come and go. Then Ari. Ari. The food. I should escape. Run through the night. Find my people and make them travel south. Away from the vengeful Vidar and Asbjorn. I should escape. Head for the hills. Break the chains.
I should…
Darkness.
CHAPTER 27
We clean the plates in silence. Ari hasn’t even gloated. He just avoids eye contact. Usually, he parades about like the glittering peacock I had seen at Kaupang. But now, his shoulders are sunken, and he doesn’t look me in the face. Kaupang. The vibrant Viking trade port feels worlds away. And it is—I wish we had never traveled north. The trade port’s massive buildings and markets are a sharp contrast to the woods around me. Back then, I was but a wide-eyed girl.
“That’s the dishes then,” I say, but he only shrugs and turns to fetch something in our tent.
Sharing the tent hadn’t been that bad. Some mild snoring from Ari was the worst that happened. Ausveig’s snoring is louder. But that isn’t really the point. My reputation could be ruined. My life destroyed. My honor defiled. How can he not understand that?
Still, even I have to admit, I may have overreacted. Just a bit. Who insults people’s ancestors? It’s just not normal. Ari was told to share a tent with me—it wasn’t even his decision. Regret gnaws at my stomach. A wyrm that won’t stop until its teeth turn to dust.
“Kilda,” I hear from the main lavvu. “You’re up already.”
The sun has been up for a couple of hours. Down in the valley, both thralls and freemen have already been working for a long time. This lady hasn’t even eaten breakfast. Still, I bow my head as she comes out.
