“The jarl would free me?” I ask, severely doubting it after all of this.
“If not him, then I will.” He holds both my shoulders and lowers his head, looking into my eyes. “You are the wind, Kilda. A deer. Not a bull chained in the field.”
I snort at his intended pun.
“Even if you have the balls of a bull,” he clarifies.
“But how could the jarl?—”
“Stop thinking, start behaving. That’s how you will please my father. He rewards loyalty, not rebellion.”
“Yes, Vidar.”
“Be loyal to him, be loyal to me, be loyal to Opdal.”
“I will.”
“Good, and oh, stop spending time with that mangy skald. He’s trouble.”
“Trouble?”
It was I that convinced Ari to duel Njord. He was doing the honorable thing, aiding a woman in distress. Ari was helping a slave girl with no one to turn to, no one to help her out of her tormentor’s grip. But I was wrong—Njord was innocent.
“Yes, trouble. Don’t go to him for aid, come to me.”
“But I did.”
“You did at first, and that was the good choice. I gave you good advice. I warned you.”
“You did,” I concede as tears press behind my eyes.
“Njord was a hard man, but not an evil one.”
“I can’t believe I?—”
“Let it go, you must move on. Be loyal to Opdal.”
I nod and wipe my nose on my robe as he continues.
“Time will pass. Things will get better,” he concludes.
“Thank you, Vidar, thank you for?—”
He puts a careful finger on my lips.
“We are fine. We are even. It’s just important to me that you remember who stands with you.”
“I will.”
“Then go catch some sleep,” he says with a laugh as he turns. “You look like a mess!”
CHAPTER 60
Misery.
The hearth is cold. I have not lit a fire for fear of its light exposing my most selfish and misguided choices. A man is dead. Eidunn’s fury, her crippling sorrow, Sigurd’s burning rage, Vidar’s comforting assurance—they are a murder of crows in my head. Ever circling, refusing to scatter.
How could it come to this? Everything was perfect. I had it all. A house, status, food. Strong men were interested. I had the cornerstone laid for building my own life. Perhaps regaining my freedom. Freedom for my future children.
