“Oh, he will be. He’s the first one to rise.”
“Then I will speak with him.”
“I’ll follow you to the longhouse,” says Vidar.
“You don’t have to, really,” I say, walking briskly toward the center of the farm.
“Don’t worry, I like to keep an eye on you.”
I walk fast, like I’m busy. Something about this conversation has made me uneasy. I want to keep studying the jarl’s objects, hopefully without Vidar present. We arrive at the door.
“I have business to attend to,” says the huge warrior. “But listen, if you ever need anything, come to me. I will help if I can.”
“I’ll keep that in mind.”
“Do that. Remember, anything at all.”
He winks, making me force a smile before I enter the hall.
CHAPTER 45
Sleep avoids me. Exhaustion does not allow my racing mind to rest. Images flash through my mind as I lie alone in the dark. Sweet notes from the birch cinders fill the room even after the glow of embers has died down.
My own house, my own furs. How things have changed. Everything has gone so fast. Stealing Asbjorn’s seax feels like yesterday, yet it also feels like an eternity has passed. From thief to thrall to Volva.
With my new title, I constantly need to remind myself that I am still a slave. A privileged slave. All this can be taken from me. My body, my life—they are still property. But not my will, not me. Not Kilda. I know where I stand. Ylvin knows.
Ari, Vidar, Ylvin, Eidunn. Interactions play again and again through my head. What could I have done differently? I always make such a mess of everything. It’s time for me to controlmyself. To meet others with honor. Ari has tried to support me. Vidar is being nice, offering his help. How do I treat them? Like offal.
Eidunn, her hardship. How can everyone ignore her plight? Surely, they know. I haven’t even spoken with Njord properly. Just seen him in the hall. I have no time for abusive assholes. But Eidunn, her I have time for.
Sleep. I need sleep. Breathing deeply, I lie on my back and clear my head. There’s always tomorrow. Tomorrow I can change. Be better. Tomorrow I can keep studying Sigurd’s items. Like the hammer.
The ring, the necklace—both powerful items. Laden with energies I can only dream of conjuring. Yet today I could touch them without invasive visions. I tried to summon the necklace’s magic again, to witness the lynx, but to no avail. Why?
I flip on my stomach, kicking fur from my feet. I’m too hot. I wish I could ask Ylvin. She would know. She would teach me. What would she say about the hammer? Whatever is contained within it is suffering. Unreachable. It’s the hammer that reaches out, ripping at its cage, waiting for the right moment. The right moment for savagery. I have no idea what it is. But I felt its pulse, its clawing lust. That terrifying Volva in the vision. A heavy burden for its wielder, whoever it’s tied to.
I raise myself on my hands. No repose. Groa had once told me some fresh air helped clear her mind on sleepless nights. Nights like this one. The air is warm. My blue robe will do.
A balmy wind strokes my face, sweeping away worries as the scent of wild mint fills my nostrils. My bare feet land on the moist grass that surrounds my shack. Grateful for its soothing coolness, I take long steps away from the farm. An unusual shape catches my attention. Sitting next to a tree. With widening eyes, I freeze to observe the majestic creature before me.
A lynx. Its eyes shine like mystical beacons in the dim light, unmoving from my own. A shiver of delight slides down the back of my head. What a blessing. A sign from the giver herself, our noble lady Freya. My smile blooms. The lynx’s yellow eyes hold mine for one timeless heartbeat. I am not alone.
“Thank you,” I whisper.
Perhaps spooked by my words, the creature vanishes before me, melding into the shadows of the woods behind it. Gone like it appeared, without warning. As elusive as the vision from the necklace. But now I know—every step I take, Freya walks with me. If fate rules us all, it will have to adapt its plans. I choose my destination.
My body vibrates from this shared moment, yet my shoulders relax. My muscles find peace. Now I can sleep. Rest is needed for tomorrow’s challenges. I take steps backward to return to my house, hoping to spot the forest guardian again. It watches me as it pleases. I can only see it whenitpleases. As I turn—movement up the hill. A woman, returning to the longhouse.
It’s Eidunn.
“Psssst,” I whisper, wanting to catch her attention without waking the others. “Psssst.”
She is startled, her body jumping. As I take swift steps toward her, she shakes her head and waves me away. Like I care. What is she doing? Why is my friend skulking about in the night? A pit forms in my stomach. I already know the answer.
“Go sleep,” she hisses.
“I was going to,” I reply. “But what are you doing?”
